
Houses live, despite being constructed with inanimate objects and once-living-now-dead materials, and only at night, when the humans who inhabit them quiet down and seek refuge within the secret fears and hidden desires of dreams, do they make their presence known. It comes in the throat clearing pipe rattles and the eerie creaks and moans as the domicile stretches from its support beams to the rafters before settling down upon the foundation once more. And somewhere in between these growing pain noises, I hear you through wooden slats, insulation, and drywall.
You are busy conducting your nocturnal activity of burning bridges. You do this when you think I am asleep, which I pretend to be for I do not know how to confront you on this matter. Although I have never caught you in the act, I discovered the place in which you secret your tinderbox, that rusty lozenge tin containing pieces of flint, firesteel, and the charcloth you use as tinder.
But it is not physical bridges you set fire to, it is connections. Human connections. At first, you severed ties with your coworkers. When that supply well ran dry, you turned your attention to the neighbors, both long-standing and new. My family was next, which should have been easy for you as you never considered my kin an extension of your own. To my surprise, yours followed shortly after. Now, it is only you and I, and I hear the striking of flint and I know without a doubt that I am next. I should get out of bed, should stop you, but I do not because I do not know how to process the reality that you no longer desire me in your life. I tell myself my love for you is strong enough to withstand your attempt to distance yourself from me, but the truth of the matter is, as I hear the charcloth catch fire, I can feel the grasp of my love for you beginning to weaken.
I had not realized until I felt the radiant heat as you approached with your flame, that our connection was a living bridge, a spiritual combination of the northeast Indian tribal root bridges, which are formed by training the roots of the banyan tree to grow across watercourses, and the Japanese Iya Valley bridges, constructed using wisteria vines woven together when they grew long enough to span the gap.
I am surprised at how very hot and very slow-moving the fire is. It creeps at its patient pace, causing destruction to the fruits of our happy memories, the flowers of our passion, and the buds of future events in the making. The fire chars through the vines’ bark to consume the cambium layer beneath, the thing that is essential for the growth of the vine’s vascular tissue; and without it, the vines die.
I shed tears, though I no longer know why, for when you return to the bedroom, smelling faintly of smoke and slip under the covers, I move away from your touch for I do not know you. All the memories created in this place are ghosts that have evaporated like dreams upon waking. In the morning I will leave of my own volition, never to return and the only thing I will carry with me is your precious tin for tinder. I am filled with the sudden need to divorce myself from all human contact.
I’ve known–and loved–someone like this. And I couldn’t do anything to help her. This is deep stuff, Rhyan, and so well crafted. You still have that magic touch with words, and I’m glad for that. 🙂
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We’re in the same boat, my friend, but not only have I known and loved someone like this…I’ve been that person myself. Cheers, as always, for the read and comment!
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A moving piece, creeping and intense. Beautifully tragic and uncomfortably familiar. Well done.💙
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Thank you, Joan, I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and comment and for the compliment!
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Relationships are hard to fathom on a good day!! Nice writing!
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We spend a lifetime in relationships with no hope of mastering them but each one manages to teach us a lesson about ourselves (and sometimes it’s even a good one). Cheers for the read, comment and compliment! Happy New Year!
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Happy New Year to you too!
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Beautifully written, Rhyan. There’s no saving us or others from ourselves. Sometimes, the want of being somewhere else is what haunts a person forever. Wish you a good year ahead. Take care.
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We do tend to get in our own way a great deal of the time, don’t we, Terveen? And in a never-ending quest for fulfillment, we abandon and sometimes even destroy perfectly healthy relationships. Life is an adventure that’s full of beautiful destinations. Wishing you many wonderful memories in the year ahead.
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