Popular belief has it that the universe is comprised of atoms. In reality, the universe is actually made up of…
The newspaper ad read:
GET YOUR BIOLOGICAL NEWBORN BY CORRESPONDENCE
Want a baby but also want to keep your firm body? Now you can reap the benefits of motherhood without the need for pregnancy or leaving the safety of your home! Want to select the gender? No problem! Want twins or triplets? No problem! Want to splice helpful traits from the animal kingdom to progress human evolution and secure our place in the pecking order? No problem!
Each transaction comes complete with DNA confirmation and sonogram photos to show off to your friends and neighbors! So, what are you waiting for? Get your swab kit today! 100% money-back guarantee if not completely satisfied!
Order now and get a second baby ABSOLUTELY FREE (just pay additional shipping and handling). Operators are standing by!
MADD FICTIONAL 
LOL! If only it was this EASY! Sign me up!
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Who says it’s not that easy? They seem like they’ve got all their ducks in a row and they offer a money-back guarantee so I can’t see the harm in putting them to the test. Plus, I think you even get to keep the FREE baby if you’re dissatisfied.
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Wait wait wait wait wait! I got the money back guarantee gimmick but what’s the return policy on a baby???
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I can’t speak for the company (for legal reasons I deny any affiliation with the organization) but I assume you will be provided a postage paid return container addressed to either Angelina Jolie, Madonna, Katherine Heigl or any of the other celebrities who adopt overseas children, who will be glad to take the baby off your hands.
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I’d say I’ll give you the one I have and won’t even expect anything in return.
LOL!
And it’s full grown. Can it get any easier?
And I’ll throw in a warning manual so that there are no unpleasant surprises.
Rhyan, I didn’t know you wrote horror so well. 🙂
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Too late, your kid beat you to the punch and called in to return you.
She said she’s tired of trying to draw blood from a stone, whatever that means.
Pack a bag with your essentials because the container is on its way as we speak.
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LOL!
I’m ready.
The container is late…
Where can I lodge a complaint?
Stony…
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Slow your roll, Karen. The shipping department advised me that the container had to be recalled due to a postage miscalculation. The original freight was based on flesh weight without considering the additional poundage of a stony countenance. The revised container is on its way.
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I don’t want to keep filling up your comment section but this is hilarious!
LOL! I wish I could write this in much bigger font to emphasize the laughing.
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Oh, so the size of your font is an indication of how funny you think something is?
Is that why your comments to me are always so tiny?
Nice to know my place in the Terveen scheme of things. Tiny font. Tiny font.
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No 30 day free trial period?
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The company has conducted extensive research that showed along with a newborn child comes months of sleepless nights and new parents become incredibly absent-minded when having to make good on their bundle of joy payment.
So, the 100% money back guarantee (and optional free baby) will have to suffice.
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Ah, good point!
Sign me up!
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