Popular belief has it that the universe is comprised of atoms. In reality, the universe is actually made up of…
The day before her 18th birthday, Chloe carelessly stepped out of the shower and missed the bathmat by mere inches, her foot sliding instead across the wet tiled floor.
The last thing she remembered as her body flung backward, was the back of her head making contact with the corner of the porcelain sink.
When she came to she could somehow tell that she wasn’t where she was supposed to be. For one thing, the air tasted funny, still breathable but noticeably different. The other dead giveaway, in this reality her mother hadn’t died during childbirth, her father wasn’t a raging alcoholic, and she even had a kid sister, to boot.
But she still had a bad case of acne. Just her luck. Why would fate, the heartless bitch that it was, have even bothered to throw her a bone by trading her unasked-for sibling for a much-coveted life with clear skin?
MADD FICTIONAL 
You can trade siblings for clear skin? Why wasn’t I notified of this sooner?
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Never too late to slip on some wet tiles and crack the back of your head on the sink to begin your new life with clear skin sans siblings!
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An alternate reality or is this some kind of Satan trick where she’s locked in a private hell with the perfect family that tortures her for eternity? Or does her acne just keep getting worse and worse? Now that would be hell!
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True hell is either every day is a holiday with a big dinner that the entire family (even extended relatives) attends and no one gets along and they all get drunk and bicker and fight the entire time and all of it is directed at you; or all the best things in life are available to you (your idea of the perfect date with your dream person/celebrity, or interviewing for your dream job, etc.) but it’s all a source of embarrassment and shame because everyone is so repulsed by your acne to the point where you’re eventually shunned by society and the subject of constant ridicule and scorn. Your puss-oozing acne frightens little children and even animals run away from you.
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Acne can be such a pain. It’s uninvited and leaves marks as nasty reminders. I’d say take a sibling or two but grant the gift of a flawless complexion. Bad memories…
I think there’s an advantage of being stony-faced now. Is someone smirking and rolling their eyes?
Wonderful writing, Rhyan. You’re so versatile. 🙂
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Of all the things that plagued me as a youth, acne was not one of them.
While I certainly would not dream of questioning your expertise on stone faces, I feel I must point out that stone won’t stand up to the fastidious scrutiny of perfectionists.
Now, I’m not sure if your lovely kisser was formed under subterranean pressure, or a product of volcanic activity, but that facial slab of yours was exposed to the caprices of time and stands as a testimony to all the events that occurred during its formation, such as: a slight drift in the tectonic plates whenever you attempted to laugh or smile, or the reveal of a trapped and fossilized organism here and there, or the leaking of an uncommon material (ie. your mineral tears) into the ossifying sediment.
So while you may not have acne, you are susceptible to flaking, crumbling, and pitting.
Just saying.
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Only you can deliver such wit, wisdom, and sarcasm. A delicious combo that can make one only wonder – how does he do it?
Is it some superpower or a wish granted by a djinn? Rhyan, are you only one or are there some elves you hide in your sleeves who tap away merrily at your keyboard while you prepare for the next grand piece. Am I jealous or enamored? You can’t tell. Stony isn’t so easy to read. 🙂
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There’s no secret to it. I’m a dyed-in-the-wool smartass and you’re far too kind to take offense.
Either that or you find my supposed wit so droll that you let it roll off you like water off a stony duck’s ass.
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Lol. I’m both.
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Twisted yet humorous, lol. I enjoyed this, thanks for sharing my friend!
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
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My pleasure, looking forward to more😀
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