The one thing Crispin excelled at was pulling capers. The thing he was absolute shit at was maintaining a healthy intimate relationship, so when Fern left him, instead of wallowing in self-loathing and misery, he set out to win her back by treating it like a heist.

His hastily assembled crew consisted of a skip tracer to locate Fern’s exact whereabouts, a three-man extraction team to kidnap her, a props manager to supply non-lethal firearms and blood squibs, a location scout to find the perfect secluded warehouse to hold his ex hostage, and a greeting card writer to provide him with the mushy stuff needed to show her just how much he cared once he rescued her.

It most likely would have gone to plan had Crispin not overlooked the fact that Fern was an ex-Army Night Stalker who had taken out the extraction team, tortured his plan out of them and was now on his trail for a little payback.