I Am A Sentient Black Hole. Ask Me Anything.

Feeling a bit under the weather today, so instead of either skipping a week or tossing up some filler nonsense, I’ve decided to invite a guest blogger, who happens to be a character in one of my science fiction novellas.

Please be kind to my guest blogger.

— Rhyan Scorpio-Rhys

Sentient Black Hole

My name is Ganymedorah and I’m a sentient black hole keen to debunk stereotypes. Ask me anything.

The title says it all. In my recent travels throughout the universe, I found that many people know little to nothing about what it’s like to be me. Let’s change that!

saganosity How’d you come to be?

Ganymedorah Wow, a birds and bees question straight out of the gate. Okay, let’s see how to put this. Do you know what happens when two gigantic patches of darkness get so close to one another that they fall into each other? Well, sometimes, if they love each other very much, they take a honeymoon trip together. I am a result of a wild, crazy and uninhibited weekend.

SarahMcL If you had a pet, what kind would you choose and what would you name it?

Ganymedorah If I could own a pet, I’d probably choose an inverted supernova. I’d love to watch the little guy bury the bones of a dead solar system in the yard! And I’d name him Champagne, of course.

nkwyringmeyenz What fact still blows you away even though you’ve known about it forever?

Ganymedorah The universe is filled with empty calories. Seriously. I can eat and eat an incomprehensible amount of matter at an absurd speed and never put on a pound. Well, almost never. Sometimes I manage to put on a little water weight.

syfy4lyf Star Trek or Star Wars?

Ganymedorah Star Trek, original series. Nobody beats Shatner’s Kirk. Nobody. Ronald D. Moore and Brannon Braga should be sent to Rura Penthe for they way they killed the character off.

winstigator Do you think you could beat Centaurus A in a knife fight?

Ganymedorah Centaurus A is so full of shit, pardon my French, puffing up his chest and boasting that he’s a “giant galaxy.” If he ever looked at me sideways, I’d whup his superluminous central supermassive black hole butt without breaking a sweat.

fullostars What are your thoughts on Brian Cox, Neil Degrasse Tyson and Michio Kaku?

Ganymedorah Imagine that theoretical pub debate! If only I could find a place at the edge of the universe that pulled a proper pint. Time to whip out the old Hitchhiker’s Guide, methinks!

knows.e.parkour Tell us something you’ve never told anyone.

Ganymedorah I pick up broadcast signals all the time. Reality television is my guilty pleasure and I’m absolutely addicted to 90 Day Fiancé. Kirlyam is so friggin’ cute!

K-FitzMat Do you believe is ancient aliens?

Ganymedorah Believe in them? I still see them (there’s a whole weird bendable time thing that runs around and through me). I am totes timey wimey. Oh, and before you ask, yes, dinosaurs existed and no, they didn’t ride on the ark.

othrwhtmeet Do you like bacon?

Ganymedorah Duh, who doesn’t? Next question.

icanhazeuropa Is there life elsewhere in our solar system, particularly Mars, given the variable quantities of methane in its atmosphere that could suggest bacterial activity beneath the surface?

Ganymedorah Aw, man… y’all are really making me regret spilling the beans on the whole ancient aliens thing. Why would you want me to ruin that surprise for you? Wouldn’t it be better to discover it on your own?

xs10shal What never fails to blow your mind about humans?

Ganymedorah 1) That people always choose to pursue things that are the absolute worst for their emotional and physical well being.

2) That even the most vile among you are sometimes capable of acts of kindness so incredible as to make my gaseous heart feel as if it’s about to burst.

3) The Captain & Tennille divorce. I mean, who saw that coming?

tinfoilhat Conspiracy theorist here. Is there a secret society of black holes?

Ganymedorah If I told you, I’d have to drop you into a gravity well.

trebek2dafutr If you appeared on the game show Jeopardy, how do you think you would do?

Ganymedorah Depends on the categories. I’ve got Space, Science and Potent Potables on lock. Do the kids still say that? But I’d suck — sorry, black hole humor — at Pop-Music, Sports and Math. I would definitely make the first few rounds, especially if I hit a Daily Double but ultimately would lose the Final Jeopardy question. Wheel of Fortune? That’s an entirely different matter.

statnislndmedim What are your feelings on the afterlife, and are you scared to die?

Ganymedorah Without any hint of braggadocio, I, by my very nature, am too much of a good thing to worry about my decomposition and demise. Too much mass, and too much gravity pushed together and collapsed into a single point with infinite density. In-fi-nite. I love the sound of that. Now, if I’m meant to die, I will not go gently into that good night, trust me. As for what awaits me on the other side, who knows? But I love a good mystery, me.

dollylamas Will our minds ever be able to truly comprehend our worth in the vastness of the universe?

Ganymedorah As long as you continue to ponder it. If I could impress one thing on people, it would it be to stare into the unknown and unknowable without fear and full of questions.

constellationkate Last night, a 900-foot asteroid was due to streak extremely close to Earth, but it just disappeared, leaving astronomers baffled. Do you know anything about that?

Ganymedorah Yup, and you’re welcome.

Burp.

Oops, pardon me.

– Rhyan Scorpio-Rhys

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Sofa Jet City Crisis

SofaWelcome to ‘Lantic City NexGen, the newly renovated gambling mecca, where a 15 year old boy named Hofstra, on the run and desperately trying to prove his manhood, gets caught up in a private war between Buma Willys, a down-on-her-luck cyberspace gambler who’s looking for that one last big score, and Rockne Keobardi, the mob-affiliated casino owner that wants Buma dead!

I owe it all to L. Ron Hubbard. Well, not all of it, but Sofa Jet City Crisis at least.

Back in the revolutionary 80’s I discovered the Dianetics Master of the Universe’s quarterly contest, Writers Of The Future, and made it my mission to collect the contest winnings and build my sci-fi writing empire. I mean, how hard could it be, right? I had various projects in different stages of development scattered about the place, some carbon dating back to the tender age of 11 and I could have dusted any one of them off, given it a spot polish and submitted without breaking a sweat. But I was reading a lot of Harlan Ellison at the time and Mr. E. was fond of telling we silly mortals who hoped to make a career of writing to create a new story every single day. So, I was determined to create a brand spanking new tale for Mr. Hubbard’s competition.

I’m sure you can spot the road signs from here.

The original incarnation of this story dealt with a down-on-his-luck gambler betting against the devil. Convinced it was the best thing I had ever written, I happily mailed it off, sat back and waited for my check to arrive. And I waited. And waited. And waited. No check. What I did receive was a rejection letter from Orson Scott Card, another writer I admired (who doesn’t love Ender’s Game?)

Crushed but not defeated, it was a quarterly contest after all, I flung the story back on the drawing board, put my nose to the grindstone, and swapped out most of the religious mysticism for technology. I couldn’t let go of the devil, though (if I were a spiritual man, that statement might bother me).

Rejected again. Undaunted, I retooled the story, sans Satan this go-round. Rejected. So I tried again. And again. And again. A total of 12 times. 12 rewrites. 12 rejections.

Fast forward some 10 odd years and what did I discover at the bottom of my “someday story box” (a Pinocchio realm for my writing, “Someday, you’ll be a real story.”) and you know what? I didn’t hate it. At this time Peter Laird (half the creative talent behind Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) founded the Xeric Foundation which awarded money to creatives looking to publish their work within the comic industry. After more prodding than I’m willing to admit by then partner, Juanita Hicks, Sofa Jet took a 13th trip to Rewriteville. It was mid 90’s and I was heavily into William Gibson’s cyberpunk movement… so guess what wormed its way into the final draft? Apparently, it was the missing element because I was awarded the prize in 1997.

Special thanks go out to Adam Dekraker for lending his incredible talent to the visuals of this project.

— Rhyan Scorpio-Rhys

The Revenue Man

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In the year 2046, tax rates have reached a record high of 96%.  These rates have incensed what is left of the working class.  Citizens, in order to survive with some semblance of dignity, have devised ways to withhold income from the taxation offices, adopting a “the tax office can’t tax what they don’t know about” attitude.  The Rowe Scientific Tax Administration Inspection Bureau has made it their business to be in the position to know EVERYTHING.

Since humans have proven time and time again to be selfish, money-grubbing little creatures, Rowe designed a new type of tax man, one that was incorruptible and flawless, to oversee and enforce the stringent tax laws.  Thus were born…THE REVENUE MEN.  When one of these super auditors malfunctions and begins its deadly pursuit on an innocent taxpayer.  Trapped in a skyscraper, and armed with nothing but the knowledge that he is innocent, Eddie Pacheco must match wits with an insane automaton, ever staying one step ahead, if he wants to stay alive.

©1997 & 2016 Rhyan Scorpio-Rhys

Polymer Doll Isabeau

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Set in a future one step ahead and to the left of our own, Polymer Doll Isabeau tells the story of the mysterious and amnestic Izzy, the sole survivor of the Theologos Catastrophe that wiped out the entire population of Brooklyn, New York, four years ago. An accident caused by Rowe Scientific. As events build to similar disaster, Izzy, with the help of her friends, reporter Sydney Dorset and Agent Morgan Barksdale, races to discover her true connect with the Polymer Doll Project, the military android application believed to be the cause of the Brooklyn tragedy.

©1997 – 2016 Rhyan Scorpio-Rhys

Genaissance: A Parable Scribed By The Shadowside Of God

Genaissance

The time? One of innocence. The place? A land that no longer exists; the Earth Pre-Flood. It is here that a gentle soul named Enoch, on the 365th year of his life, is lifted up into the Seven Heavens and brought before the unbearable face of God. Elected to be the Scribe of God, Enoch encounters the Archangel Micha-el, who begins relating a fantastic parable. Through Enoch’s mindseye we witness the evolution of God, the creation of Earth, the formation of Heaven, the birth of Lucifer Morningstar, and much, much more.

©1999 – 2016 Rhyan Scorpio-Rhys

Visual Assault Omnibus

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Visual Assault Omnibus, our premiere title, was a superhero/science fiction anthology series created by myself, which included gallery pages that new and amateur artists could submit to, as well as coloring and scripting contests and featured the following stories:

Nixa! – On Deimos, the smallest Martian moon, there exists a three-component masterpiece society, consisting of the controlling Deiphovner, subservient Lax’chaetaal, and mysterious Oss’fuite races.  For reasons yet unknown to her, Nixa, the nigh-invulnerable metal-skinned Oss’fuite, leads the Lax’chaetaal in a revolt against the Deiphovner.  The Oss’fuite are forced to choose sides and Nixa finds herself in battle against one-time ally, Mesq Klute.  When it becomes apparent that Nixa may very well die in battle, she is teleported away against her will by friend Ari Grice, the third and final Oss’fuite.  The “blind” teleportation leaves Nixa floating helplessly in Earth’s orbit.  Her meteoric descent brings about wanton chaos and destruction on many different levels, as secrets that Nixa is no stranger to Earth are revealed.

Improbable Impact – Somewhere within The Brinke, the Sphere Of Time, lurks an entity some call Euthanasia, who was spawned at the creation of the universe.  Euthanasia exists to exercise his whims as he sees fit.  One of his fonder pleasures is to create new races that he can convert into loyal worshippers that will obey his every whim, even if the consequence is the destruction of the very fabric of the universe itself!  He has discovered ideal followers in a race called The Trachnevid, a star-faring race that plunders planets in Euthanasia’s name.  One sole survivor, Dimensioner, whose homeworld was destroyed in Euthanasia’s wake, begins a maddening crusade to build a counter-army to help prevent the fruition of Euthanasia’s twisted schemes and restore the proper balance of the universe.

Maseo, Hero-Killer – A mysterious young female vigilante, known only as Maseo, is accused of killing the national superhero, Paramount.  The government wants to reprogram her, the public cries out for her blood, the superhero community demands retribution, and the villain element wants a crack at the person who killed Paramount.  No one believes her.  No one trusts her.  No one except her court-appointed lawyer, Augustus Supall. Living a life on the run, Maseo begins to implement a plan that will reveal the forces behind the chaos that her life has become, while Supall struggles to unearth the truth.  This is not your standard fare “vigilante” tale.

Ruehl – Even as a baby, the name Ruehl was a legend.  Miracle Baby.  Savior.  Defender of the weak.  Role model.  Spokesperson.  The ultimate merchandising tool.  But suddenly, at the pinnacle of her career, evidence has surfaced that she was responsible for the deaths of nearly 200 people, a charge that she cannot deny.  Follow the path of a superstar whose life begins the long, slow spiral straight to hell.

MindSet – When the world is running down…you make the best of what’s still around.  And after The FlatFall of ‘94 (Nixa’s impact with Manhattan Island), MindSet is as best as it gets.  Six in all, orphans turned guinea pigs, and molded into the finest, deadliest technologically advanced corporate henchmen.  But when their mission is to assassinate the current Pope, can even the highest level of their super technology go toe-to-toe with an emissary from the heavens?

Loam, the Intrepid – How true are the rumors that a 400 year old myth, an African golem, whose hands are like anvils and whose eyes can burn the soul, has finally come to New York?  One reporter for a sensationalist primetime tv show and his partner will risk their lives and even their sanity to reveal the truth behind the “monster” that preys on evil from the dark recesses of New York’s back alleys.

©1991 – 2016 Rhyan Scorpio-Rhys