Too Long For Instagram: Butterscotch Kisses

As explained in a previous post, I participate in Twitter hashtag games, and bulk those tweets up for Instagram…and sometimes they’re too big. So, instead of deleting them, I decided to post them here.

Original Tweet (the prompt was the word #butterscotch):

The first lips that ever pressed on mine belonged to Rosemarie Rumph and when her tongue entered my mouth it was smooth and slick and warm and tasted faintly of butterscotch schnapps.

She kissed me on a dare, but I didn’t care. I fell in love instantly.

The too large for Instagram remix:

As soon as I saw Rosemarie Rumph, I knew she was different. With her curly brown hair and bright green eyes, she stood out from the rest of the crowd. We were both in high school, and although we shared a few classes, we had never really talked before.

One day, a group of us were hanging out after school when Rosemarie suddenly turned to me and said, “I dare you to kiss me.”

I froze. Was she serious? Did she really want me to kiss her? I had always been nervous around girls, but with Rosemarie, the stakes felt even higher. What if I screwed it all up?

But something in her eyes made me think that this was more than just a game. So I leaned in, my heart pounding in my chest, and pressed my lips to hers.

At first, it was awkward. We both kept our lips tightly closed, unsure of what to do. But then, as if she sensed my hesitation, Rosemarie opened her mouth and deepened the kiss.

It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. Her tongue was warm and wet and tasted faintly of butterscotch schnapps. I felt dizzy with pleasure as our lips moved together in a slow, sensual dance.

When we finally pulled away, I was breathless. Rosemarie looked at me with a mixture of amusement and desire in her eyes.

“You’re a good kisser,” she said, her voice low and husky.

I didn’t know what to say. All I could think was that I wanted to do it again. And again. And again.

Over the next few weeks, Rosemarie and I started spending more time together. We would sneak off during lunch breaks to make out behind the bleachers, or hold hands under the table during class. It felt like we were the only two people in the world.

But then, just as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. One day, Rosemarie stopped returning my calls and started avoiding me at school. I was heartbroken, but I didn’t know what to do.

Years went by, and I dated other girls, but none of them ever compared to Rosemarie. She was always in the back of my mind, a ghost that haunted my every kiss.

And then, one day, I saw her again. We were both adults now, and I had almost forgotten what she looked like. But as soon as I saw her, all those old feelings came rushing back.

We started talking, and before I knew it, we were kissing again. It was like we had never been apart. And I’ll be damned if her kisses still didn’t taste like butterscotch schnapps.

Tiny Stories: Quirkus Quantum Socks

Popular belief has it that the universe is comprised of atoms. In reality, the universe is actually made up of…


As gravity was a mere suggestion to Prof. Quentin Quirkus, the eccentric inventor crafted a pair of “boundless” socks that allowed wearers to defy the laws of physics and dance effortlessly among the clouds. Little did he know, these socks were actually gateways to a whimsical dimension where sentient clouds organized celestial dance-offs, and the winner was granted a single wish—leading to unexpected chaos of sock-clad adventurers competing for their heart’s desires.


Eldritch Attraction: The Forbidden Mad Love of a Cthulhuian Woman

Dive into the uncharted depths of cosmic horror romance with “Eldritch Attraction: The Forbidden Mad Love of a Cthulhuian Woman,” a darkly captivating guide that transcends the boundaries of reality and delves into the mysterious world of love beyond human comprehension.

From navigating interdimensional courtship rituals to exploring the psychological impact of an otherworldly romance, this book offers an unparalleled glimpse into the enigmatic realm of Cthulhuian relationships.

As you journey through the pages of this enthralling how-to guide, you’ll be captivated by a series of diary entries that follow the haunting and unforgettable love story of a human protagonist and their alluring Cthulhuian partner.

Together, they defy the odds and face the unimaginable in a tale that blends cosmic horror, dark humor, and the power of love to transcend even the most insurmountable obstacles. Brace yourself for a love story that will take you to the furthest reaches of the cosmos and the darkest corners of the human heart.

Are you ready to embrace the madness and discover the eldritch attraction that awaits?—grab your copy of “Eldritch Attraction: The Forbidden Mad Love of a Cthulhuian Woman” today!

Available HERE:

In Shadow’s Shroud

In shadow’s shroud, a figure drew so near,
No light escaped its form, so dark and stark.
Its features blurred, a countenance to fear,
But Death’s true nature, not grim, began to mark.

“You’ve come for me?” I asked, my voice betrayed,
Though courage I displayed, my fear still reigned.
“I’m always present,” Reaper softly said,
“Death’s not to blame for death, ’tis life’s refrain.”

Tranquility washed over me in waves,
As Reaper’s words brought comfort to my soul.
The journey’s end, the ultimate of graves,
Embrace of satisfaction made me whole.

Hand in hand with Reaper, warm and soft,
I exhaled all the worldly, frail and oft.

Men Are Werewolves, Women Are Vampires

In a world where werewolves and vampires have long been at odds, “Men Are Werewolves, Women Are Vampires: Unveiling the Secrets to Harmonious Supernatural Relationships” offers a groundbreaking exploration into the realm of supernatural relationships. Discover how werewolf and vampire couples can overcome their ancient animosity and forge harmonious, lasting bonds in this satirical yet insightful self-help guide.

Drawing from the deep-rooted histories and customs of both species, the book delves into their unique social dynamics, addressing the distinct challenges each faces when engaging with their supernatural counterpart. With wit and warmth, the guide offers practical advice on bridging the supernatural divide, from effective communication and understanding each other’s needs to navigating the complexities of inter-species social events and rituals.

The book also tackles the more sensitive topics, such as self-identity, societal pressures, and the challenges of raising hybrid offspring, while encouraging empathy, tolerance, and respect for dual heritages.

Packed with valuable insights, “Men Are Werewolves, Women Are Vampires” is an essential read for anyone seeking to navigate the intricacies of supernatural relationships. Whether you’re a werewolf, a vampire, or simply a curious human, this book will guide you through the twists and turns of love and partnership in a world where two very different beings can come together in a harmonious and magical union. Unlock the secrets to harmonious supernatural relationships—grab your copy of “Men Are Werewolves, Women Are Vampires” today!

Available HERE

Too Long For Instagram: Can We Talk?

As explained in my previous post, I participate in Twitter hashtag games, and bulk those tweets up for Instagram…and sometimes they’re too big. So, instead of deleting them, I decided to post them here.

Original Tweet (the prompt was the word #communicate):

We finally made first contact with an extraterrestrial being. Forget everything you’ve seen in the movies or read in a book. The alien was a physical Euclidean geometry. How were we meant to effectively communicate with an ever-shifting living pattern?

The too large for Instagram remix:

The momentous occasion finally arrived. After years of searching, we made first contact with an extraterrestrial race. But as we stood there, staring at the aliens before us, all of our expectations were shattered.

The beings were not what we had imagined. They were not creatures with heads and limbs and eyes or even something that resembled an insect or deep sea life like the ones featured in science fiction films. These beings were living patterns of geometric shapes, constantly shifting and changing before our eyes. We were speechless, not sure how to even begin to communicate with these strange, otherworldly beings.

A hand-selected team of scientists and linguists tried everything they could think of. They used math and physics, trying to find some common ground in the language of numbers. They used music and art, hoping to tap into some universal language of the senses. But nothing seemed to work.

Days turned into weeks, and still we struggled to communicate with the aliens. It was frustrating, but also exhilarating. We were on the cusp of a discovery that could change the course of human history.

And then, one day, it happened. One of the team members, a young woman named Mei, had an idea. She had been studying Euclidean geometry, and she thought that maybe there was a connection between the patterns of the aliens and the principles of geometry.

With a burst of inspiration, Mei began to draw shapes and patterns, trying to find some kind of common ground. And to the team’s amazement, the aliens responded. Their patterns began to shift and change in response to Mei’s drawings, as if they were trying to communicate with us.

The team spent months working with the aliens, using geometry as a bridge between our two worlds. It was slow and painstaking work, but it was also incredibly rewarding. We were making progress, step by step, towards a greater understanding of these amazing, enigmatic beings. And as I sat there, watching Mei and the aliens communicating through the language of shapes, I knew that this was a story that needed to be told. A story of discovery, of perseverance, and of the power of communication to bridge even the greatest of divides.

And so blinded was I by the team’s accomplishments…I never saw the invasion coming.

Before you eggheads even chime in, I know the image used for this post is Non-Euclidean geometry, so, step away from the keyboard and calm thyself down. It made for a more interesting image than a Euclidean geometry diagram.

Eldritch Fables: Bedtime Tales Reimagined

Dare to enter a realm where familiar bedtime stories become twisted and nightmarish, revealing the sinister truth lurking beneath the surface of our world. “Eldritch Fables: Bedtime Tales Reimagined” is a collection of chilling tales that unearth the unspeakable horrors woven into the very fabric of existence.

Visionary author Rhyan Scorpio-Rhys has masterfully reimagined beloved fables and fairy tales, infusing them with a cosmic horror that exposes the eldritch terrors awaiting us all. Through these dark retellings, readers are granted a rare glimpse into the shadowy corners of the universe, where malevolent forces strive to unmake reality and claim our world for their own.

In these haunting stories, Jack’s beanstalk grows into a conduit for an ancient, otherworldly evil; Sleeping Beauty’s eternal slumber threatens to unleash a cosmic nightmare upon the land; Hansel and Gretel find themselves lost in an eldritch forest that preys upon their deepest fears; and many more familiar tales take a sinister turn.

Each story in “Eldritch Fables: Bedtime Tales Reimagined” unravels the tenuous threads holding our reality together, exposing the cosmic horrors that lie just beyond our perception. It is a journey not meant for the faint of heart, but for those who dare to face the truth and glimpse the darkness encroaching upon our world.

Embark on a journey through twisted realms and distorted fables, and prepare to confront the unspeakable terror waiting to claim us all. “Eldritch Fables: Bedtime Tales Reimagined” is a chilling exploration of cosmic horror and the hidden nightmares that lurk within the shadows of our most cherished stories. Read at your own peril, for once the veil has been lifted, there is no turning back – grab your copy today:

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Too Long For Instagram: Forgive Me, Please

As explained in my previous post, I participate in Twitter hashtag games, and bulk those tweets up for Instagram…and sometimes they’re too big. So, instead of deleting them, I decided to post them here.

Original Tweet (the prompt was the word #forgive):

“It was all a stupid misunderstanding, a horrible accident…you have to forgive me, please!” he begged, tears streaming down his face, but his plea fell on deaf ears. The blood on his hands spoke louder than his words ever could.

The too large for Instagram remix:

He stood before me, his words desperate, pleading for forgiveness. But my heart remained hardened, unable to comprehend the gravity of the situation.

The night was dark and stormy and we were driving back from a late-night party, laughing and joking. He was behind the wheel and I rode shotgun. The rain came down in sheets, blurring our vision. And then the entire world changed in a split second.

In the middle of telling a story, he took his hands off the steering wheel and his eyes off the road. Our car skidded on the slick road, spinning out of control, and finally came to a stop when we crashed into a tree, the impact shattering the windshield. I was disoriented, covered in broken glass, and bleeding from cuts and bruises. But that was nothing compared to the horror I saw when I turned to look at him.

He was in shock, blood on his hands, his face white as a sheet. And lying in front of the car was a lifeless body. A pedestrian who won the unlucky lottery of being caught between the car and the tree.

Time stood still. At first, I couldn’t comprehend what had just happened, and as the reality of the situation sank in, although I knew it was an accident, I couldn’t find it in my heart to forgive him.

He begged and pleaded with me, tears streaming down his face, as he tried to explain that it had been a horrible accident, a stupid misunderstanding. But his words fell on deaf ears. The blood on his hands spoke louder than any words ever could.

In the days and weeks that followed, guilt and remorse crushed him. He couldn’t sleep, eat, or find any peace. He tried to make amends, offering to compensate the victim’s family, seeking therapy, and doing everything he could to atone for his mistake. But I still couldn’t bring myself to forgive him.

As time passed, I realized that forgiveness was not something that could be forced or rushed. It was a personal journey, a process that needed time and healing. And while I couldn’t forgive him immediately, I also couldn’t forget the love we had shared, the memories we had made together.

Years went by, and he remained a constant presence in my life. We never rekindled our relationship, but we remained connected in some way, bound by the tragic events of that fateful night. He continued to seek forgiveness, not just from me, but from himself as well.

And then one day, something shifted within me. I found myself thinking about the past with less anger and resentment. I realized that holding onto the pain and anger was not serving me anymore. It was time to let go, not just for his sake, but for my own.

I reached out to him, and we met in person on a night reminiscent of that of the accident. He was hesitant, unsure of what I would say. But as I looked into his eyes, I saw the deep remorse and regret that had haunted him for years. And in that moment, I found it in my heart to forgive him. It wasn’t easy, and the wounds were still there, but forgiveness was a step toward healing.

We parted ways with a sense of closure, knowing that we had both learned valuable lessons from this tragic experience. And as I left the diner, the rain was coming down in sheets, blurring my vision. And then my entire world changed in a split second when I was caught in the headlights of a car spinning out of control.