“You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time. The only difference between writers and other people is we notice when we’re doing it.” ― Neil Gaiman
You very well might be a writer if…
- You recognize the tropes when friends tell you about a movie they’ve just seen and annoy them by correctly guessing the surprise twist ending.
- You fire off irate emails to professional critics who obviously lack the ability to comprehend even the most basic elements of the book they’re critiquing. Stupid critics.
- To you, Goodreads is the newer, better Facebook.
- When a boring person is speaking to you, your thoughts turn to something in the neighborhood of: “She stood amazed at this man, gifted with features so unremarkably plain as to render him virtually invisible amongst the crowd. More fascinating was how a mouth could move with such dexterity–the working of tongue against palate and teeth in complete choreography with lips glistening with the spittle of excitement–yet let slip content of no consequence.”
- Your common review of most of the films that your friends have recommended is, “The book was much better.”
- New pens make you happy, especially the clickable kind. Click-click-click… joy.
- The aroma of an old book is your preferred air freshener scent.
- You have to piece your current story together from bar napkins, matchbook covers, toilet paper roll (hopefully unused), old (unpaid) parking tickets, business cards, or any other paper-esque scrap you can lay your hands on at the moment. And when no paper is available, your non-writing hand (and arm) becomes a suitable substitute.
- You suppress your rage in a physical argument with a colleague, only to recreate the argument in a story, filled with all the witty and biting things you could have/should have said.
- You find jokes of this ilk funny: I have a pet dinosaur named Roget. Roget the Saurus.
- You have an unnatural affection for lists. More than just clicking on Buzz Feed and Huff Post list links, even though the topic doesn’t interest you in the slightest. I mean really unhealthy to the point you begin viewing the physical world as a series of lists.
- Despite the internet and the built-in spelling/grammar tools in your word processing program(s), you still own a hard copy dictionary and thesaurus, and possibly a set of encyclopedias.
- Your blog contains several posts that will forever remain drafts because they’re either too brilliant or too frightening to share with anyone. The outside world would never understand.
- You consider your writing to be your better half.
- And finally, you might be a writer if you write, edit, rewrite, edit and finally delete emails to friends and family constantly because you’ve played the entire conversation of their response in your head and didn’t like the way it ended.
Sally forth and be writeful.
— Rhyan Scorpio-Rhys