There are creations in the universe, cogs in the ever-expanding machine that keep the forces of Chaos and Order in perfect balance. Every so often a cog performs above and beyond its duties and is seated before the The Great All and granted remuneration.

“Your reward, young cog, is corporeal life.”

“Corporeal life? From a universal perspective, it is over in a blink of an eye. Such poor compensation from a Deity such as yourself. I would rather be unmade as an existential creature.”

“If that is your wish.”

“Wait! I thought we were negotiating?”

The thing most people fail to realize about lightning is how playful it can when the mood strikes. Lightning can tease you by blowing off your shoes or flash-frying the clothes from your body, leaving you naked and steaming in the rain. If you listen carefully you can almost hear an overhead chuckling when this occurs.

Lightning can also be quite fickle at times in the form of striking you with no ill effect but the person standing next to you ends up in the hospital. Or the morgue. So, it really is in your best interest to try to make friends with lightning when at all possible.

It wasn’t always like this.

I wasn’t always like this.

I remember a time when I wore a younger man’s face, when I discovered what true happiness was, when the word love took on a whole new meaning, when the world finally made sense.

When you were still alive.

It was a known fact that for many years female writers were not taken seriously unless they used a male alias for publication. This so enraged Irene Du Bois that she decided to use the pseudonym, Baisé Si Je Me Soucie, which loosely translated as “Fucked if I care.”

It was meant to be a modified Faraday cage, designed to hide human lifeform readings from the invading aliens’ sensors, something that would provide the top minds safety from being abducted and time to develop a strategy to repel the extraterrestrial threat. And Dr. Saundra Tobin’s plan might have succeeded had the aliens not caught on…

We are more than astronauts, more than astrophysicists, geologists, biochemists, and electrical engineers. We are explorers of the unknown, caretakers of peace and diplomacy, chosen and trusted with the honor of traveling unfathomable distances, powered by the best engineering Earth has to offer, searching the spaceways for our celestial neighbors.

There is no doubt in my mind that the universe was created by a Divine Spirit and human beings are not alone in intelligent existence and we are meant to find and befriend our sisters and brothers in creation otherwise we would not have been granted the knowledge and ability to travel beyond the limits of our planet, our galaxy.

Bearing this in mind, the only question I have is, if we are following our interstellar manifest destiny, why do all the extraterrestrial lifeforms we encounter want to kill us so badly? Can someone explain this simple fact to me, please?

Her fear was not easily detectable on her stoic face but it slipped through the cracks in the form of the crease of her beautiful brow and the ever so slight down-curve of her rose petal lips. And her eyes, the portal to her innocent soul, revealed to me a stunning universe filled with untapped passion and childlike hope. This hope which had no foundation in reality would cause her to struggle against me, to fight to the very last breath for her life.

But as I said, it was a childish hope for as my teeth sank into tender flesh, her blood sprayed against the roof of my mouth and it was so sweet that it caught in my throat and made my nose tingle. My plan was to turn her, make her my companion in this unlife, but the hunger had taken hold and I could not help but devour her.

In the history of human relationships, it has never been easy for anyone to come to the realization that the person they have given their heart to is not what they seemed to be. Such is the case with Takibi, and when he confronted his bride, she simply said:

“Count your blessings, my love. Consider all the miserably single men in the world, struggling to find a soulmate and settling for whichever wretch stumbles across their path. You were fortunate enough to married a yukijorō, a beautiful snow woman whose body is a wuthering wonderland.”

“What’s your deal? Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?”

“Of course I’m not mad at you. Where’s this coming from?”

“You’ve been avoiding me—”

“No I haven’t.”

“We used to hang out together all the time and now you’re never around. We’re supposed to be best friends but lately I’ve been picking up this vibe, so if we’re not cool anymore just rip the bandaid off so I can move on with my life!”

“You think I’m ghosting you? It’s not that—”

“What is it, then?”

“I met someone.”

“You what? No way!”

“And I think he may be the one.”

“How long have you been seeing this guy? It is a guy, right? I mean, hey, no judgments, I’m cool with it all—”

“It’s a guy, and we’ve been seeing each other for about a month now.”

“A month? And you’re just telling me about it now?”

“I wanted to be sure. After Harry—”

“That turd-weasel. You’re lucky to be shut of him. If you ever find out that he died, let me know which cemetery so I can piss on his grave. But enough about him, gimme deets on the new guy!”

“Gustavo’s nothing like Harry—”

“Gustavo, huh? Dipping your toe in the exotic pool?”

“Well, I don’t know about exotic. He’s really shy, so I had to make the first move.”

“You brazen hussy!”

“But it was totally worth it because he’s so kind and doesn’t brag about himself all the time—”

“Like Harry.”

“And he’s a really good listener and he’s interested in all the things I’m into.”

“So, what’s he look like?”

“Well, he’s a bit shorter than I am—”

“I knew there had to be a drawback.”

“Shut up. I don’t mind at all. And there’s something about his eyes that are simply mesmerizing.”

“All right, I guess nice eyes are an okay trade-off for height.”

“Oh, and he’s a family man.”

“He has kids?”

“No, no, he’s the legal guardian of his two younger brothers and their adorable, just like he is.”