It was a hot, thick night, the kind that sticks to your skin and pulls out all the secrets you’ve been trying to bury. The sun had gone down hours ago, but the heat still clung to the air like an uninvited guest. I sat on my porch, a tumbler of whiskey in my hand, staring at nothing in particular. The cicadas hummed in the distance, offering a strange sense of calm, when I saw him—just a dark shape coming down the dirt road. I should’ve known right away, but I didn’t.

When he got closer, I realized it wasn’t just any old wanderer.

It was the Devil.

And hell, he didn’t look any different than he did in the stories. Sharp black suit, slicked-back hair, and eyes like coal. He had the same confidence that makes you think he knows something you don’t—because, let’s face it, he does.

He sauntered up, nodded like we were old friends, and plopped himself down on the empty chair next to mine. “Evenin’,” he said, like this was normal.

I raised an eyebrow, but kept my cool. “Evening.”

He glanced over at my whiskey, smirked. “Mind if I get a glass of that?”

Now, call it southern hospitality or just plain stupidity, but I went inside and grabbed him a drink. After all, it’s not every day the Devil shows up at your doorstep.

We sat there in silence for a moment, sipping. He stared off into the night like he was contemplating the universe. Finally, he turned to me and said, “You know, I’ve seen a lot in my time. More than you could ever imagine.”

I nodded, unsure where he was going with this.

“But I gotta tell you something,” he continued. “Your ex-wife… Well, she’s somethin’ else.”

I choked on my whiskey. “Come again?”

The Devil chuckled. “Oh, you heard me right. That woman of yours—” He shook his head like he was genuinely impressed. “She’s a force of nature. Hell, she’s out there doing things even I wouldn’t dare pull off.”

Now, you’d think I’d be scared, right? But when he said that, I wasn’t. I laughed. Really laughed. “That sounds about right,” I said, leaning back in my chair. “She’s been giving me hell for years.”

The Devil smirked, but his eyes darkened. “No, boy. You don’t get it. I deal with liars, cheats, and thieves on a daily basis. But your ex? She could outwit the best of ‘em. I’m tellin’ you—half the folks down in my domain would follow her if she ever decided to set foot there.”

I let out a low whistle. “So, she’s that bad?”

“Bad?” He raised an eyebrow. “Depends on how you define it. She’s clever, ruthless when she wants to be. She’s got charm too, dangerous charm. Can make you believe anything if she sets her mind to it.” He took a sip, swirling the whiskey around his mouth before swallowing. “Hell, even I couldn’t have pulled some of the stunts she did.”

I sat there, speechless.

He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Let me tell you a story. There was this man—rich, powerful, thought he had it all. She walks in, sweet as pie, makes him fall head over heels. And just like that, she’s in control. Took him for everything he had, and he still smiled at her while she walked out the door. Left him with nothing but his own stupidity to keep him company.”

I stared at the Devil, my mind racing. That was her, alright. She had a way of making you think you were in control, when really, she’d been pulling the strings all along.

The Devil shook his head, like he still couldn’t quite believe it. “I’ve seen every trick in the book, but your ex—she’s writing new chapters. I tell you, boy, if she ever wanted to, she could run my operation better than I ever could.”

I couldn’t help but grin, despite the knot forming in my stomach. “You’re telling me she’s worse than you?”

“Oh, worse isn’t the word I’d use. But she’s more unpredictable. And that, my friend, is dangerous.” He drained his glass, setting it down with a soft clink. “She’s a storm in a pretty package. Could tear a man apart and leave him smiling, thinking it was his idea all along.”

We sat in silence for a while, the cicadas still buzzing in the background. I poured myself another drink, offering the bottle to the Devil, but he shook his head.

“Don’t get me wrong,” he said after a long pause. “I’m not here to warn you. She’s out of your life now, right?”

I nodded. “Years ago.”

“Good,” he said, standing up. “Because I’d hate to see what she’d do if you crossed her again.”

He adjusted his suit, gave me a nod, and started walking back down the road.

Before he disappeared into the night, he turned around and said, “You know, I’ve been around a long time, seen it all. But I’ll admit—your ex-wife surprised even me.”

And just like that, he was gone.

I sat there for a long while after that, nursing my drink, the weight of his words settling in. My ex-wife, the one who had caused me more headaches than I cared to count, had impressed the Devil himself. Maybe that should’ve terrified me.

But somehow, it didn’t.

I just laughed again, raised my glass to the stars, and thought, Well, ain’t that somethin’?