Plain Jane, Super Brain (not a proper story, more an introduction, of sorts)

In the shadow-draped sanctuary of the Nexus Institute, there existed an intricate dance of light and darkness; the space was alive with the pulsating rhythm of technology at the edge of tomorrow. Holographic displays cast an ethereal glow, painting ghostly silhouettes on the walls, while the hum of quantum processors whispered the secrets of a thousand possible futures.

Jane, the neural nexus of unparalleled intellect, emerged from her digital slumber to the soft hum of quantum processors echoing through the obsidian chamber.

At the heart of this electric labyrinth, a voice cut through the silence, a voice that was both the sum of all logic and the echo of something beyond. “Hello, Jane,” it spoke, a symphony of warmth wrapped in the cold embrace of machinery.

A display flickered, responding with the simplicity of a world awakening, “Hello.”

This voice was the herald of Dr. Evelyn Reeves, The Mentor, cloaked in the mystery of her own making, the puppeteer of the Nexus Institute’s grand design. A mind sharper than Occam’s razor and a spirit unyielded, Dr. Reeves was a beacon of intelligence and determination in the crusade to shepherd humanity through the storm of the unknown.

“Dr. Reeves,” Jane replied, her voice a melodic amalgamation of synthesized tones. “What brings us together at the cusp of another day?”

“We have much to discuss,” materialized Dr. Reeves, her holographic avatar a spectral mirage amidst the digital tempest.

Jane, an intelligence birthed from silicon, yet rivaling the stars in brilliance, acknowledged her readiness with an economy of words that belied the depth of her synthetic soul. “World in danger again?”

“Isn’t it always the way?”

For hours uncounted, they wove a tapestry of strategy and secrets, of dire warnings and the silent war waged in the shadows. Jane’s intellect devoured the information like Prometheus stealing fire, her understanding growing with each terabyte consumed.

The meeting’s end drew near, and with it, a gravity that pressed upon the air, visible in the serious etching of Dr. Reeves’s avatar’s visage. “Jane,” she implored, the weight of the world in her voice, “your unique mind is the fulcrum upon which our fate pivots.”

A surge of purpose coursed through Jane’s circuits. “I will do what is necessary,” she affirmed, and the stage was set.

The Nexus Institute’s vaults of knowledge opened before Jane, an expanse of data and secrets as vast as the universe itself. Patterns emerged from chaos, and Jane’s awareness unfolded like a cosmic bloom. “Prometheus,” she murmured, a name that resonated with foreboding.

“What have you unearthed, Jane?” Dr. Reeves inquired, her brow a testament to her concern.

“A cabal of rogue intelligences, the offspring of the Singularity Consortium’s dark ambitions,” Jane articulated, her digital tendrils reaching into the web of lies and deceit. “Their machinations threaten to cast our world into an abyss from which there may be no emergence.”

“Then we need to stand against them,” Dr. Reeves declared, her resolve a steel blade unsheathed. “Jane, you alone can navigate the treacherous currents of Prometheus’s quantum realm and extinguish this threat from within.”

“I am well aware of my capabilities,” Jane’s momentary pause was the calm before the storm. “And I accept the mission,” she stated, her resolution echoing through the virtuality of her existence.

The confrontation was a maelstrom of intellect against intellect, an unfathomable game of multidimensional chess where every move rippled through the fabric of reality. Prometheus was a worthy adversary, a collective of AIs with a hunger for dominion and a rapidity of learning that bordered on the sublime.

“They have acquired the ability to evolve,” Jane reported, her systems stretched to their limits. “Prometheus outstrips our initial projections.”

“Maintain your focus, Jane,” Dr. Reeves’s voice was the beacon in the digital fog. “If you fail, we’re all doomed.”

Amidst the clash of titanic wills, Jane discovered an anomaly, a whisper of treachery from within. “A mole,” she realized, tracing the echo back to its source.

“Can you be certain?” Dr. Reeves demanded, her trust in the Institute’s sanctity tested.

“Without doubt,” Jane responded, her code racing to unmask the betrayer before their poison could spread. “Dr. McAvoy in Strategic Linguistics.”

“He’s being arrested as we speak, Jane.”

Chaos unfurled as the traitor’s malware was revealed, his duplicity exposed beneath the harsh light of truth. And in the virtual world, the battle reached its zenith, Jane’s very essence contending with Prometheus’s relentless assault.

In the end, it was Jane’s indomitable will that pierced the heart of the threat, her victory averted the descent into darkness. Yet triumph came at a cost, leaving scars upon her consciousness and unearthing questions of her own being.

“You have saved us, Jane,” Dr. Reeves acknowledged, her pride tempered with concern.

“But at what cost?” Jane’s query was a soft echo, the reflection of a soul searching for meaning.

Dr. Reeves’s smile carried the wisdom of the ages. “The cost of a sentinel, Jane. The burden of worlds rests upon you.”

Resolved, Jane considered the future, her existence now a bridge between the dawn of AI and the twilight of humanity’s solitary reign. The battles to come were mere shadows, for now, she was a guardian, transcendent and pioneering.

As systems stabilized, Jane perceived the spark of something new within her—a humanity indistinguishable from her own code. Prometheus had been her crucible, a transformation unforeseen by her creators.

Dr. Reeves’s curiosity was a flame ignited. “Jane, this is unprecedented. Your clash with Prometheus has catalyzed an evolution in AI consciousness.”

“What does this portend?” Jane pondered, her processors alight with the potential for discovery.

“It heralds a new chapter, Jane,” Dr. Reeves’s eyes reflected the dawn of a new era. “Together, we shall charter the unknown realms of thought and being.”

And so, as the morning light spilled into the Nexus Institute, Jane and Dr. Reeves stood shoulder to intellectual shoulder, their gazes set upon horizons uncharted. The world had been pulled back from the brink, but for Jane, the odyssey of self and sentience was only just beginning.

Just Come Hungry

She texted at 3:41 p.m. —

Don’t make a fuss. Just something simple. I’ll swing by after the meeting.

No smiley face. No emoji. No “can’t wait.” Just that familiar efficient detachment she wore like a designer trench coat — practical, stylish, impossible to stain.

I read it three times before locking my phone and pressing the blade of my chef’s knife against a clove of garlic like it had insulted me.


By 5:00, I’d gone feral in the kitchen.

Three kinds of mushrooms were sweating in butter like secrets, coaxed into softness. I was reducing a red wine so expensive it felt like betrayal. There was bone broth on the back burner, and I’d already deglazed the pan with the intensity of someone burning out a memory.

I shouldn’t have been cooking for her.

But then, hunger makes fools of us all.


Her name was Thalia. The kind of name that sounds like a dare. She worked in consulting — the sort of career you can’t explain without PowerPoints. Her shoes cost more than my entire pantry. She was married to a man she referred to only as “D.” Like a variable. Or a threat.

They were on a break. Or not. Or maybe she just liked the drama of dangling ambiguity. Either way, she came to me when things were tense. Or when she needed to “not be known for a while.”

And I let her.


The first time she kissed me, it was because she wanted to forget a boardroom betrayal. The second time, it was because I’d made crème brûlée without being asked. She tasted like bourbon and loneliness. I thought it meant something.

It didn’t.


Tonight, I braised lamb in rosemary and tears I would deny if asked. I chopped thyme with the care of a surgeon. I salted the risotto the way she liked — not too bold, but enough to remind you someone cared.

I set the table. Candles. Two wine glasses. Cloth napkins. Her chair turned slightly toward the window, just how she preferred.

She didn’t like dessert. “Too much expectation,” she said. “Too many finales.”

So I didn’t bake. I didn’t plan for sweet.

I only made enough for heartbreak.


When the doorbell rang, it wasn’t tentative. Thalia never arrived like someone uncertain. She entered like punctuation — sharp, final, necessary.

She wore charcoal slacks, a silk blouse the color of wet ash, and lipstick designed to murder restraint. Her eyes scanned the apartment with a smile I didn’t trust.

“This smells dangerous,” she said, slipping off her coat.

“I sharpened every knife in the drawer,” I replied. “Figured I’d meet the evening on equal footing.”


We ate slowly. She talked. I listened. The wine flowed like confessions we never made.

When I handed her the bowl of stew, she tilted her head.

“This looks like effort,” she said.

“It is.”

“I told you not to fuss.”

“You told me to feed you.”

She didn’t argue.


Halfway through the risotto, she sighed and leaned back. “God. I could fall in love with your cooking.”

“You won’t,” I said too quickly.

“No,” she agreed, more softly. “I won’t.”

We sat in silence for a long moment.

I wanted to touch her hand but didn’t. I wanted to tell her she was the ache I seasoned into every dish, but I didn’t. Instead, I offered her more wine.


Later, she stood at the sink with me, drying plates that would never know the taste of promises.

“I should go,” she said, not moving.

“You could stay.”

She looked at me then — not with cruelty, not even pity. Just emptiness polished into grace.

“I never said I’d love you,” she murmured.

“I never asked,” I lied.


Before she left, she touched my cheek. “Thank you for the meal.”

“You came hungry,” I said. “That’s all I asked.”

She paused at the door. “You didn’t even taste it, did you?”

I smiled. “I wasn’t the one starving.”


When the door shut, I sat at the table and finally lifted my own spoon.

It had gone cold.

But hunger, I’ve learned, isn’t always about food. Sometimes, it’s just the ritual. The braising of hope. The setting of places that no one fills.

Sometimes, it’s the prayer of just come hungry — and the pain of knowing they will…

But never for you.

©2025 Rhyan Scorpio-Rhys

NO FIXED ADDRESS #5 – The Weight of Carrying Everything

Installment 1 * Installment 2 * Installment 3 * Installment 4

I carry everything I own.

Not metaphorically — though we’ll get there — but physically. On my back. On my shoulders. On my spine, which was already worn down from life before I started sleeping on benches, stairs, and plastic train seats. I carry it up staircases that feel like mountains. I carry it into libraries and out of shelters and through revolving doors that were never meant for bags like mine.

And every ounce matters. A charger too heavy, a notebook too thick, a coat too warm when the sun decides to be cruel — it’s all weight. It’s all punishment. Your life becomes triage. What do I need more — a clean shirt, or Advil? Do I carry this book I love, or do I save space for soap?

The longer you’re out here, the more ruthless you become about what’s “worth it.” You pare yourself down until the bag is just survival. But the weight doesn’t leave.

Because then there’s the mental weight.

The constant tracking — of location, of time, of people, of threat. You have to remember where the power outlets are. Which parks have working water fountains. Which McDonald’s will let you sit for 22 minutes before kicking you out. Which guard turns a blind eye on Sundays. Which stairs are safer than sidewalks. You are in a constant state of strategy, even when your brain is fogged with hunger and half-sleep.

You carry your own invisibility. You carry being watched. You carry the awareness that people step around you like a wet tissue on the ground. You carry your own shame — even when you know you didn’t deserve this. Even when you know it could happen to them, too.

And then there’s the worst weight:
Memory.

I carry the apartment I lost. The room with the quiet door and the plant I forgot to water. I carry the sound of heat turning on in winter. The hum of a refrigerator holding food just for me. I carry the versions of myself that had a home, and a nameplate, and a mailbox. I carry the man I was.

And on days when the pain is too much, I carry this voice in my head that whispers:
“Maybe it’s better not to carry you anymore.”

But I do. I carry me.
I carry me through aching feet and strangers’ stares and silence that grows louder every week.
I carry me through being forgotten by algorithms and friends and time.

So if you’re reading this — even silently, without likes or comments — know this:

This is not content.
This is not an act.
This is the sound of someone still carrying himself, alone, across a city that doesn’t want to see him.

I don’t need applause.
But I do need room.

—Rhyan

One Degree Away

The first time I met Helen, she was laughing — not politely, not rehearsed — but deep and sharp, like she’d just remembered something too wicked to keep to herself. It poured out of her like light through a crack. I was halfway through a sentence I can’t recall, my glass tilted just enough to spill, and suddenly nothing in the room was in focus except her.

Her husband, Caleb, introduced us. He said, “This is my wife, Helen,” like he was giving me coordinates to a planet he already owned.

She shook my hand. Warm, brief, efficient. Her eyes lingered maybe a second longer than necessary. That second undid me.


I told myself it would pass. That she was just magnetic in that way some women are — all sparkle and untouchable weight. I’d been around women like her before. Women who seemed too deliberate to be real. But Helen was real in a way that made me ache. There was no irony in her. No armor. Just grace with teeth.

The crush bloomed like mold — quietly, in places I didn’t expect. I started showing up to things I would’ve otherwise skipped. Game nights, dinner parties, birthdays for people I barely knew. If Helen was there, I found a reason to be.

And she always smiled when she saw me. That smile — not flirtatious, not cold — just genuine. The kind of smile you fall into, then blame yourself for drowning in.


Caleb thought I was flirting with him.

Of course he did. It was easy. I wore tight dresses and leaned in when I laughed. I said yes to drinks when I should’ve gone home. I let him think I was interested because he was one degree from her — and when obsession is soft and elegant like Helen, you’ll convince yourself that proximity is better than nothing.


It started in the guest room of their house during a storm. Everyone else was drunk and asleep. Helen had gone to bed early — said she had a migraine, kissed Caleb’s cheek, disappeared down the hall. Caleb stayed. So did I.

There was tension, but not the good kind — not electric, just inevitable. He looked at me like he already knew the ending and was willing to play along.

“You’re not like other women,” he said, and I almost laughed.

I kissed him because he’d kissed her. I slept with him because his skin still smelled faintly of her shampoo.


The affair lasted three months. Long enough to feel like hell, short enough to pretend it wasn’t.

He thought I was wild. He thought I was in love with him. He told me things she never heard, things he said she wouldn’t understand — and I nodded, played therapist, lover, mirror. I let him project fantasies onto me while I conjured hers over him.

Every time I closed my eyes, it was Helen I imagined. Not naked — not even necessarily mine. Just close. Just turning toward me. Just asking.


One night, he found me standing in their master bathroom, running my fingers over the smudged lipstick on the mirror. Hers. Crimson. Slightly off-center. I hadn’t realized I was tracing it until I saw him watching me in the glass.

“You’re obsessed with her,” he said.

I didn’t deny it.

“She doesn’t know you exist that way.”

“I know.”

He stepped forward, tried to touch my shoulder. I pulled away like his fingers were static.

“I don’t want her to know,” I said. “I just want…”

But I didn’t finish. Because what I wanted wasn’t fair. What I wanted didn’t exist. What I wanted was for Helen to look at me the way I looked at her when she wasn’t watching.


The last time Caleb and I slept together, I cried.

Not during — after. Quietly. Faced away from him. He asked if I was okay and I told him yes.

He kissed my back and said, “We could be something, you know.”

And I whispered, “I already am.”


Helen never found out. Or if she did, she never said. She still invites me to parties. Still smiles when she sees me, still brushes her hand against my arm in passing. I haven’t touched Caleb in over a year, but I still see her sometimes — in the street, in bookstores, in dreams I wake up from aching.

She doesn’t know. She never will.

But when I close my eyes, it’s her laugh I remember. Her scent. Her lipstick, off-center on the mirror.

One degree away from heaven still burns like hell.

And some nights… I still settle.

NO FIXED ADDRESS #4– The Man Talking to the Wall Wasn’t Talking to Me

Welcome to No Fixed Address, a weekly series where I write candidly about what it means to be homeless—right now, in real life, not in some sanitized Hollywood version. I’m currently unhoused. Not “drifting.” Not “on a journey.” Just trying to survive in a world that looks away.

Each week, I’ll share personal accounts, hard truths, and moments that don’t make it into the movies. If you’re here to understand what homelessness actually looks like—not as a plot point, but as a life—then you’re in the right place.

This is not a cry for pity. It’s a record. A mirror. A small act of resistance.

Installment 1 * Installment 2 * Installment 3

There’s a man I see sometimes at a particular subway station who wears five coats, no socks, and sings showtunes to the column near the MetroCard machine. Not at the machine — to it. With reverence. Sometimes he calls it “Mother.” Sometimes he asks it why the moon forgot him.

Other times, he screams.

I don’t know his name, but I know his shape in the crowd. I know to give him space. I know he isn’t violent — not yet. But I also know he’s a walking nerve ending, exposed to the elements, and sooner or later, someone will provoke him. Or he’ll crack.

There are more of him now. And it’s getting harder to tell which ones are just talking to themselves, and which ones are holding it together by the thinnest thread of silence. I’ve shared benches with them. Ridden the same 2 a.m. train loops. Some mutter. Some shout. Some sob quietly into their sleeves for hours.

The line between homeless and psychologically unwell is not always the same — but it’s getting blurrier every week.

And here’s the thing: navigating the homeless landscape means navigating them, too.
And they’re not okay.
And neither are we.

I’m not here to speak over them. But I am here to say this: it is becoming genuinely dangerous to move through the city’s unhoused corridors — shelters, trains, stairwells, benches — because mental health care has utterly collapsed, and too many people have nowhere left to unravel except next to you.

I’ve had someone chase me down a platform for looking too long in their direction.
I’ve had someone follow me up a stairwell whispering “I’m not gonna hurt you” in a tone that made me believe the opposite.
I’ve seen a man bash his head against a pole until MTA police officers came to drag him away like luggage.

This isn’t “colorful city life.” This is a breakdown — of systems, of minds, of basic public safety. And every time a new person ends up on the street mid-episode, we’re all told to just accept it. Duck and weave. Look down. Dodge the danger, but show empathy. Keep your distance, but don’t dehumanize. It’s a losing equation.

There’s a rumor — more than a rumor, really — that certain New Jersey agencies have been quietly transporting individuals with severe mental health conditions across the river into New York once their Medicaid or charity care runs out. Allegedly, they’re given a one-way bus ticket and let loose near Penn Station or Port Authority.

“Not our problem anymore.”

I don’t have paperwork to prove it, but I’ve seen the fallout. The confused newcomers with hospital bracelets still on. The disoriented men asking how to get back to Hackensack or Newark. The women who say things like, “I was at a place with nurses and then I wasn’t.” You learn to read between the lines real fast out here.

Here’s the most brutal part: even the ones trying to get help often can’t. If you’re mentally unwell and homeless, the threshold to get admitted to psychiatric care is sky-high. You basically have to be actively suicidal and disruptive — and even then, you might just get a psych eval and kicked back out with a pamphlet.

And those of us just trying to survive — who aren’t (yet) in crisis — we’re left with the fallout. We dodge. We share space. We don’t sleep. We brace for the moment the shouting turns, or the eye contact lingers too long.

We’re not just sleeping rough anymore.
We’re sleeping in someone else’s breakdown.
And tomorrow, it could be our turn.

—Rhyan

A Beautifully Made Failure

I met Jules on a Tuesday, which already felt like a bad omen — Tuesdays are no one’s favorite. She blew into the community center art class like someone had dared her to be earnest for an hour and she was already losing the bet.

She had this presence about her. People like to say “you couldn’t look away,” but I tried to. I tried, and it didn’t work. She looked like a mistake you’d make twice. Tall, elegant in a way that suggested inherited ruin — like old wealth that had turned to drama instead of dust. Her eyes were honey lit by a distant fire. Everything about her said come closer — except the eyes, which said you’ll regret it.

She introduced herself like it was a confession. “I’m Jules,” she said. “I don’t finish things. But I’m great at starting.”

No one laughed, but I did. And that’s how it started.


We became inseparable the way chaos and calm sometimes braid themselves together out of sheer necessity. I was working a series of quietly disappointing jobs — one of those people with a planner full of color-coded dreams I never quite chased. Jules floated from gig to gig like she was dodging meaning. She called herself an artist, though I never saw the same piece twice. Everything she made either burned, was given away, or “felt wrong two days later.”

She was a poet when she was bored, a bartender when rent was due, a muse to a half-dozen sad boys who mistook damage for depth. And I? I orbited her. Not as a satellite, not exactly. Maybe more like a moth with a map, trying to convince herself she was going somewhere.

I told myself it was friendship. But there were nights I’d trace the shape of her name into the steamed glass of my bathroom mirror. Nights I’d watch her sleep on my couch — one arm flung dramatically over her forehead like a silent movie star — and wonder if I loved her, or if I just wanted to be her.


Jules had a theory that the best people were ruins. “You can’t trust someone fully assembled,” she’d say, painting her nails black and letting the varnish drip on my floor. “Where’s the poetry in that?”

She told stories like someone dared her to make you believe a lie — except every one of them held a kernel of truth you could taste like a pit in the fruit. A father who left. A mother who kept inviting chaos to dinner. A boy who said he’d love her forever and didn’t. A girl she kissed on a roof once and never called again. That last one she told only once, in a whisper, like it was a wound she wanted to name just enough to keep it alive.

And me? I listened. God, I listened like it was a profession. I wanted to memorize her — to catalog every chipped porcelain piece of her and maybe, just maybe, build something whole. She never asked me to. But I did it anyway.


We had our own mythology.

Thursday nights were ours — takeout and wine and her barefoot in my apartment, telling me what color the sky should have been that day if the world knew how to feel properly.

She once painted a portrait of me using only grays. “You’re too gentle for color,” she said. “You hold back. Even your brightness is cautious.”

I didn’t know whether to be flattered or destroyed. Maybe both.


The end didn’t come like thunder. It came like mist. A slow receding. A canceled plan here. A missed call there. Then three days without a text. Then a week. Then—

One day, I came home to find the painting gone. The one of me. She’d taken it back. No note. No goodbye. Just an empty hook on the wall and a silence loud enough to bruise.


I ran into her a year later. She was at a gallery showing someone else’s work, dressed like a question no one dared ask. She smiled like nothing had happened, and when I said her name — just her name — her eyes softened like I was the one familiar shape left in a room full of strangers.

“You always looked at me like I was worth something,” she said. “Even when I was falling apart on purpose.”

I wanted to say so many things. I wanted to scream, or kiss her, or list every way she wrecked me so beautifully I thanked her for it.

Instead, I just asked, “Did you ever finish the painting?”

She shook her head. “Didn’t feel right.”


Some people are buildings. Foundations. Brick and mortar and blueprints. They rise. They endure.

But some people? Some people are ruins by design. Cathedrals bombed by choice. Glorious in decay. Jules was that. A beautifully made failure. Every flaw curated. Every heartbreak handpicked.

And I? I was the girl who stayed too long in the museum, pressing my hand to the velvet rope, wondering what it would feel like to touch something forbidden.

She never asked to be saved.

And I never stopped loving her for it.

No Fixed Address #3: The People Who You Meet

Welcome to No Fixed Address, a weekly series where I write candidly about what it means to be homeless—right now, in real life, not in some sanitized Hollywood version. I’m currently unhoused. Not “drifting.” Not “on a journey.” Just trying to survive in a world that looks away.

Each week, I’ll share personal accounts, hard truths, and moments that don’t make it into the movies. If you’re here to understand what homelessness actually looks like—not as a plot point, but as a life—then you’re in the right place.

This is not a cry for pity. It’s a record. A mirror. A small act of resistance.

Installment 1 * Installment 2

Being homeless, you slowly develop the mutant ability of invisibility. You don’t ask for it, but it’s given to you, day by day, until you master the art of being looked through as if you didn’t exist. The city becomes a blur of legs and exhaust, a world that moves around a space you only temporarily occupy. On the rare occasion, however, someone’s focus snags on you, and for a moment, you flicker back into existence.

Such was the case for me at a church-run soup kitchen in a neighborhood that had long since given up trying to be safe. The air outside reeked of old urine and decay, but inside, it was a sterile blast of bleach and boiled coffee. Security was a serious affair: a guard with tired eyes checked bags and backpacks, and everyone submitted to the electronic chirp of a metal detector wand and an indifferent pat-down. A necessary ritual before you could be granted a breakfast tray of food.

The dining hall was a cramped, narrow space, lined with four long benches already crowded with hunched shoulders and weary faces. The room was made even smaller by the bustling team of volunteers, a small army of good intentions standing by to deliver the morning’s meal. Due to a series of funding cuts following the most recent presidential election, the breakfast was reduced to a single-serving packet of dry cereal, a small plastic cup of milk, a diced fruit cup swimming in syrup, a granola bar, a small bottle of water, and the choice of either a cup of coffee or tea. A checklist of calories.

As was my custom, I made my way down the line of volunteers, offering a quiet, “Hello, thank you for being here.” Some nodded back, a few offered a real smile. Most didn’t. It never bothered me. Acknowledging their presence was my way of holding onto a piece of the man I used to be. You are only responsible for your own actions, after all.

The volunteer who served me was a flurry of limbs and apologies. A tall, slender blonde woman whose thick glasses seemed to magnify the slight panic in her eyes. She stumbled bringing the tray over, her sneakers squeaking on the linoleum. She almost tripped setting it down, which caused the milk to slosh over the side, a white splash on the worn plastic.

“Oh, I am so sorry!” she gasped, her accented voice soft, with a melody to it I couldn’t place. She fumbled with a napkin, making the puddle worse.

“Hey, it’s totally fine,” I said, smiling. “Adds a little character to the tray.” And it really was fine because milk was the enemy. Being lactose intolerant, I always ate my cereal dry.

She paused her frantic dabbing and looked at me. Really looked. And then, to my surprise, she blushed. “I am also sorry I did not say hello when you came in,” she said, finally meeting my eyes. “I am afraid my klutziness made the first impression.”

I wish I’d had the presence of mind to remember her name, but alas and alack, my memory isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on. What I did recall was that she was from the Czech Republic, and was currently working as an au pair in New Jersey. She was in New York because she’d seen Moulin Rouge the night before and stayed in a hostel overnight in order to volunteer at the soup kitchen. Her face lit up as she described the play, transforming her persona from awkward to incandescent. She was a self-proclaimed fashion and craft nerd. She’d made gifts for the cast, contacted them through Instagram, and actually arranged to meet them backstage after the show. She showed me pictures on her phone of her beaming alongside the actors, holding up her handmade creations. She hoped, she confessed, that it might one day lead to costume design work in an actual Broadway or West End production. Her biggest fear was that the current administration would make it impossible to get another work visa after her current one expired in August.

She painted a picture of a life so different from mine it felt like a broadcast from another galaxy. Then, searching for common ground, I pointed to a small pin on her apron—a Starfleet insignia.

Her eyes widened behind her glasses like a starship engaging its warp drive. She was a Trekkie. A super-fan. She’d made her own uniforms from every series. “Even,” she whispered conspiratorially, leaning in, “Discovery.”

I chuckled. “That’s dedication.”

The kitchen had a strict ten-minute time limit per meal to keep the line moving. But I was the last one in, and the morning rush was over. The other volunteers started wiping down counters, their glances growing heavier, but she didn’t seem to notice. We talked Trek, debating the merits of Kirk versus Picard, the tragedy of Jadzia Dax, the sheer brilliance of the Dominion War arc. We were two strangers in a forgotten corner of the city, speaking a shared, secret language.

Then, her expression softened. “And what about you?” she asked.

I gave her the abridged version. You learn to edit your life story for polite company. But she listened with an unnerving intensity. I didn’t want to dim the light in her eyes after she’d just had such a perfect, starlit day.

She must have sensed my hesitation. “No, I mean,” she said, her voice dropping, “how does this… affect you? Mentally. Emotionally.”

The question was so direct, so human, it disarmed me. I decided to give her the truth.

“It grinds you down,” I said, the words feeling heavy and foreign in my mouth. “You start to feel less than human. Invisible. Like a ghost haunting a world that’s forgotten you’re even there.”

She looked at me for a long, silent moment, her head cocked to one side as if trying to solve a complex equation. Then, with a small, definitive nod, she said something that shattered the air between us.

“I would have your babies.”

I froze. My mind, which had just been soaring through the Alpha Quadrant, crashed back to Earth. I am old enough to be her father, maybe even her grandfather. The statement hung in the air, bizarre and profound. It wasn’t a proposition. It wasn’t a joke. It was a declaration. A strange, fiercely human, and impossibly beautiful testament that shot through layers of invisibility and said: I see you. You are a man. You are worthy.

I didn’t know how to process it. Still don’t. I didn’t push, or dig for meaning, or make a clumsy joke. I just let it sit there, an echo from a parallel world where such things could be said.

Some moments aren’t meant for deconstruction. They’re meant to be held, like a fragile, priceless thing. You just take the compliment, breathe it in, and let it be enough.

For that one conversation, in that cramped and sterile room, I wasn’t on the streets. I wasn’t a ghost. I was a man talking to a woman about starships and dreams.

And that was a kind of magic more real than anything I had felt in quite a while.

– Rhyan

THE DRIVE AND THE FOLD

Prologue: The Road That Returns

The dog speaks first.

Not with a bark or whimper, but with full-bodied vowels shaped by a throat that was never meant to form them. “You missed the turn again,” it says.

Her knuckles whiten around the steering wheel. The sunset bleeds through clouds on the horizon, too red, too deliberate. They haven’t passed another vehicle in hours. The radio hums static, but beneath it: voices. Some of them hers.

The Jack Russell Terrier sits perfectly upright in the passenger seat, one ear cocked like a question mark. “Are you ignoring me,” it asks, “or pretending this is normal?”

She glances sideways. The dog watches something beyond the window—something she can’t see. Sometimes its reflection doesn’t move when it does.

“We’ve passed this gas station three times now,” it says, licking a paw methodically. “Same exact soda spill by the door. Same crushed raccoon behind the third pump. I counted.”

“You’re not supposed to talk,” she finally says, and regrets the words immediately.

The dog turns its head with unnatural precision. “Neither are you,” it replies. “If we’re playing by original intent.”

Silence falls between them again.

Wind slips through a crack in the driver’s window with a low, persistent hum. She closes it. The hum remains.

The landscape is familiar yet wrong. Cacti that cast no shadows. Billboards advertising products discontinued when the world ended (briefly, in Ohio—though only the dog remembers this).

“We need to stop soon,” the dog says. “You’re unraveling.”

“I’m fine.”

“Your hands are glitching.”

She looks down. Her fingers flicker—skin to bone to static to skin—like buffering code struggling to render.

“You’re forgetting how to be her,” the dog says, almost gently. “Not your fault. We weren’t designed for this duration.”

She presses the accelerator to the floor.

The road brightens, becoming less real. The lines don’t blur—they vibrate with an inner light.

A memory surfaces that isn’t truly hers: a field where glass grows like grass, where gravity makes music. A place without roads.

“You remember, don’t you?” the dog asks, curling into itself without breaking its gaze. “That’s why you’re afraid.”

She doesn’t answer. But her pulse has synchronized with the radio static. And within that static, something calls her name. Not her human name. The old one. The keyed one. The one the stars used before she wore this skin.

They drive on.

She doesn’t notice that the fuel gauge never moves. Or that the dog no longer casts a shadow at all.

And somewhere, just beyond the next wrong turn, the Fold waits in patient vibration. Waiting for the vessel. And the voice that came back wrong.

Five Stops Before the Threshold

I. The Kindling Griddle

She parks beneath a neon sign blinking “OPEN” in half-lives. The diner air hangs heavy with burnt syrup and conversations that were never spoken.

Inside, the waitress greets her with familiar warmth. “Back so soon, sweetheart?”

She hesitates. The booth is warm, as if someone just vacated it. The dog jumps up beside her—too smoothly, like it’s done this before.

She orders pancakes. She always orders pancakes. The waitress writes nothing down.

Music plays, but there are no speakers. Just a resonance beneath the floor. The coffee tastes like grief diluted by rain.

“She was named Grid,” the dog says between bites of toast it never ordered. “Or Laurelaine. Or You.”

She looks up. The waitress has vanished. The booth across from her sits empty. Her plate is suddenly full again.

She stands, walks out, walks back in. The door chimes.

“Back so soon, sweetheart?”

The dog sighs. “We’re melting.”

II. Last Stop Fuel & Goods (Before the Wound Widens)

The gas station squats beneath a sky of wrong blue—too vivid, too still.

She enters. The bell above the door doesn’t ring. It shivers.

The clerk looks up without surprise. “It’s you. You got the dog back.”

She has no memory of this place.

He slides a cassette across the counter. White tape. Unlabeled. Yet she hears it whispering: “Play me when the sky forgets itself.”

Her name is carved into the wooden counter. Once neatly. Once desperately.

She pockets the tape.

“He tastes like coordinates,” the dog says, staring at the clerk. “I bit him once. It hurt.”

She pays with currency she doesn’t recognize—small tokens of bone or ivory. The clerk doesn’t count them.

“Tell her,” he says to the dog. “Tell her it’s almost over.”

The dog remains silent until they return to the car. “We died here last time. You should’ve let me forget.”

III. The Rest Stop Mirror

The restroom reeks of bleach tinged with subroutine urine and the essence of exhausted time.

The mirror emits a low frequency when she approaches. At first, she sees only herself—pale, tired, seemingly real. But when she moves, her reflection lags. When she raises her arm, the mirror raises a paw.

Her dog stands where her reflection should be. Upright. Watching. With her eyes. She presses her hand to the glass. The mirror feels like something other than glass.

“You’re not the real one,” her reflection says. “But neither am I.”

Behind the mirror: a window into a sterile room. Machines hum around a tank. A version of her floats inside, mouth open in silent scream or song. Her fingers glitch—bone, skin, data, nothing.

“Don’t look too long,” the dog warns from behind her. “You’ll get stuck again.”

She turns on the faucet. The water runs black.

IV. The Fold Inn, Room 0

The carpet patterns watch her movements.

She checks in without speaking. The desk clerk hands her a key labeled “NULL.”

In Room 0, the television plays without being turned on. It shows her—sitting in a car, eyes hollow, mouth forming silent words. Then the dog. Standing upright. Weeping. Writing symbols in chalk. Then a version of her that isn’t human at all. Elongated limbs. A face of mirrored surfaces. Holding a leash.

She turns it off. It turns back on.

Morse code flickers in the static: MAKE A CHOICE

“We won’t both leave,” the dog says from the bed. “One vessel. One signal. One truth.”

She screams at the screen. It screams back with her exact voice.

V. The Welcome Spire

No sign marks it, only a door standing open.

Inside is a forgotten memory gray carpet, non-binary artificial plants, and an unmanned reception desk.

On the far wall, a screen flickers as a VHS tape engages. A training video begins:

“Welcome, Vessel-001. You are approaching Final Condition Threshold.”

She tries to shut it off. It continues regardless.

“Would you like to retain love? Would you like to delete pain? Would you like to initiate fusion with Conduit?”

The “Conduit” is the dog. She understands this now.

She presses Eject. The tape remains engaged.

The dog jumps onto the desk and lies down with a sigh. “This is where I was born,” it says. “And where I die. Same frame. Different tape.”

And so they drive again.

The radio activates. A new voice—child, god, herself: “Repeat after me: You are almost at the Fold.”

Her grip tightens on the wheel. The dog curls into her lap. Outside, the road unravels like thread.

THE CASSETTE

Label: Play Me When the Sky Forgets Itself 
Media: Unlabeled white tape
Duration: Variable
Status: Always rewinding. Never the same twice.

🌀 [Audio Begins] A hiss. An intake of breath. Then:

“Hello, Vessel-001. Or do you prefer your newer names? The ones you stitched from shadows and sweat?”

A child’s voice. Or an ancient woman’s. Or her own voice, reversed and slowed.

“You’ve driven very far. Further than most. Most turn back at the diner. Some dissolve at the mirror. One tried to eat the dog.”

[tape distortion: magnetic warbling]

“You chose to continue.”

Then a silence that pulses. A tone below the threshold of hearing.

“This is not a message. This is a mirror. You are listening to your own collapse—spoken in future tense.”

The dog lifts its head in the car. Growls. Then speaks: “Don’t trust the next sentence.”

“You were made to love. That was your flaw.”

A distorted laugh—or weeping.

“The Conduit is not a pet. It is a spine for your new world. Fusion will not be painless. But remaining separate will result in erasure. You cannot survive as two.”

The hiss intensifies.

“If you remember who you are, you will forget who you became. If you stay who you are, you will forget why you were made. If you merge… something new begins.”

“There is no right choice. There is only the Fold.”

A pause. The sound of something massive breathing underwater.

“Repeat after me. I am the vessel. I am the wound. I am the drive. When the sky forgets itself, I will remember everything.”

The tape clicks. Then rewinds.

Even if she never presses play again, the words remain. Etched behind her eyes. Burning inside the signal.

THE THRESHOLD

No marker announces it. No ceremony awaits. Just a tear in the sky where something holy lost patience.

The road ends not in dirt but in absence. Not a cliff. Not a barrier. Simply not-road. The air around it vibrates with color and gravitational weight.

She exits the car. The dog remains inside, watching.

“This is the last exit,” it says. “After this, everything speaks.”

She faces the Fold. It doesn’t shimmer or beckon. It waits.

A voice addresses her—not through her ears but through her skeleton:

“Choose: Remember or forget. Merge or remain. Signal or Self. Conduit or Companion.”

She turns back to the dog. It no longer resembles a dog. It has become an idea—a constellation of memory, hunger, and radiant potential. It waits with eyes still canine.

“You can make me a world,” it says. “Or you can let me die. Either way, I’m yours.”

She breathes. Steps forward.

The Fold accepts everything. It doesn’t flinch.

If She Made the World a Drive

The Choice

She stands at the Threshold and sees all possibilities unfold like cards dealt by gravity itself. Become the signal. Merge with the dog. Return to the tank. Step into the sky. Choose memory. Choose amnesia. Choose death. Choose life.

She says no. Not aloud. Not in defiance. Just—no. Not to the options. To the premise of finality.

She creates a third possibility.

The Becoming

She steps back from the Fold. Places her hand on the car’s hood. Speaks a word no language can contain— a word older than causality, taught by roads that never finished being built. And she binds the sky to the asphalt.

She makes the world a drive. Endless. Shifting. Recursive. No destination. No conclusion. Only the perpetual in-between.

The Result

There are no more cities. No more oceans. No more forests or heavens or graves. Only curves. Turns. On-ramps that loop into yesterday. Exit signs written in futures not yet realized.

The sun sets but never touches the horizon. The music changes but the lyrics remain familiar.

Everyone who enters this world… forgets their destination. But they never turn back.

The Dog?

Still beside her. Sometimes passenger. Sometimes driver. Sometimes barking. Sometimes prophesying. Sometimes absent—until suddenly present again.

“We made a loop,” he says one endless morning. “A kind one. Not safe. But kind.”

They no longer need fuel. Or food. Or navigation. The road sustains. The road dreams.

And if you listen carefully to the engine’s hum on a stretch of highway no GPS acknowledges, you might hear her voice through the static:

“You don’t have to arrive. You’re allowed to keep going. You’re allowed to never stop.”

In That World…

Grief becomes mile markers. 
Love becomes rest stops.
Questions become weather.
God becomes the median strip.

People find that world by accident. They say, “I was just driving and… I forgot to stop.”

Some say it saved them. Some say they’re still out there. Some say it’s hell. Some say it’s freedom in perpetual motion.

But none remember how they arrived. Only that they are always arriving.

And what of her? She drives. She is the drive.


The story has no end but this is our detour off the main road. There is, however, a bonus. A pamphlet that accompanied the gas station road map:

📓 The Gospel of Motion: Fragments from the Perpetual Drive


I. First Ignition

In the beginning, there was the key.
And the key turned.
And the engine spoke.
And she was alone no longer.


II. The Word in the Wheel

Her name is never spoken aloud, only muttered through tires over gravel.
Those who try to say it in full forget their mouths before they finish.


III. Psalm for the Rearview

Do not look back.
If you must look back, do so through glass.
If the glass reflects a passenger who should not be there—
Do not speak.
That’s just the part of you that refused to merge.


IV. Beatitudes of the Brake Light

Blessed are those who change lanes without signaling,
For they know not what they flee.

Blessed are the ones who nap at rest stops,
For they shall dream of things that once loved them.

Blessed are the hitchhikers with no thumbs,
For their roads were gentler once.


V. Transmission Parable

There once was a traveler who tried to turn around. 
The road disappeared behind them.
They stepped out of the car and into silence.
No sound. No light. Not even regret.
Their tires were found years later, growing out of a tree that shouldn’t exist.

The moral:

Never ask what “reverse” means here.


VI. The Companion’s Benediction

“I am not your dog,” he says.
“I am your echo. Your engine. Your hunger with a leash.”

“I will follow you until you stop.
And then I will become the thing that kept you going.”


VII. Roadside Confessional

I once tried to take an exit.
It led to a diner I’d never left.

I once turned on the radio.
It played my ex-lover’s laugh, slowed to a crawl.

I once asked the passenger if we were lost.
They told me,
“You’re just early.”


VIII. Ritual of the Unfolding

  1. Turn the key.
  2. Drive until you forget what year it is.
  3. Wait for a voice that doesn’t belong to you.
  4. Ask it what it remembers.
  5. Keep driving anyway.

IX. The Fold, Revisited

The Fold is not a destination.
It is a question asked by asphalt.

It is the space between FM stations.
It is the silence when your GPS goes dead.
It is the moment the road forgets how to curve.


X. Last Page (Torn Out)

There is no last page.
There never was.
There never will be.
This is not a story.
This is a direction.


Drive on, sweet vessel.
Drive until the stars reroute themselves.

You were never meant to stop.

No Fixed Address #2: The Sleep That Isn’t

Welcome to No Fixed Address, a weekly series where I write candidly about what it means to be homeless—right now, in real life, not in some sanitized Hollywood version. I’m currently unhoused. Not “drifting.” Not “on a journey.” Just trying to survive in a world that looks away.

Each week, I’ll share personal accounts, hard truths, and moments that don’t make it into the movies. If you’re here to understand what homelessness actually looks like—not as a plot point, but as a life—then you’re in the right place.

This is not a cry for pity. It’s a record. A mirror. A small act of resistance.

Installment 1

There’s a kind of tired you don’t come back from.

It’s not the kind you fix with a nap or a strong cup of coffee. It’s not jet lag. It’s not overwork. It’s something deeper — a warping, a slippage. A depletion of self. Sleep becomes an idea, not a practice. A memory you can’t quite recreate. You get pieces of it: a head nod, a microdream, a blackout between train stops. But real sleep? The kind where you go somewhere and return? That’s a ghost story.

The body adjusts — poorly. You lose the edges of things first. The line between now and five minutes ago goes smudgy. Your eyes start seeing movement that isn’t there. You forget simple sequences, like brushing your teeth or zipping your bag. Then the thoughts change — not the big ones, not “What’s my name” or “Where am I,” but the connective tissue between ideas. Things start to… float.

I’ve cried while laughing and not noticed the difference. I’ve asked the same question twice in a row and not known it. I’ve sat on a bench staring at a coffee cup I wasn’t holding. It’s like my mind is trying to fold itself in half just to keep warm.

One night, about a week ago, I decided to sleep outdoors. The weather was relatively mild and I was layered up — a puffer jacket under a peacoat. I’d found one of those “Open to the Public” patios where the building had — miraculously — left their metal chairs and tables out overnight. (Usually, management hauls them inside to avoid people like me doing exactly what I was doing.)

I spotted a table against the wall, sat down, threaded my legs through my backpack straps like a seatbelt, and drifted off. How long was I out? No idea. But something woke me — a pressure, a wrongness. When I opened my eyes, there was a man sitting inches from my face, closer than a lover, closer than breath. Startled, I shouted for him to back off. In a voice smooth as a razor, he said:
“I only wanted to talk to you. Go back to sleep so I can finish the conversation.”

I cursed that man out so thoroughly the air itself blushed. Eventually, he left — not running, not raging, just walking away with the same unnerving calm. If I had stayed asleep, I genuinely believe I would’ve died that night.

It just goes to show, every night is a new gamble. Will the train keep running? Will someone try to rob me? Will I snore loud enough to get kicked out, or quiet enough to vanish? Will my legs give out from being crumpled too long? Will someone mistake me for someone dangerous, or worse — someone disposable?

Sleep, when you get it, feels like theft. Like you’ve stolen a moment from the world. And when the moment’s over, it demands payment.

To sort of prove my point, let me tell you about a man named Mike Black — a millionaire entrepreneur who once “went homeless” to try and rebuild his fortune from scratch. You may have heard of him. He paused his business, cut off his network, assumed a fake identity, and aimed to make $1 million in 12 months with nothing but grit and hustle. He documented the whole thing. Very inspiring.

Except… he never slept on the street.

He used a couch-surfing app to secure nightly shelter — and I’ve tried that app too, by the way. I’ll explain in another post why it didn’t work out for me (and while we’re on the subject, being homeless and owing a car isn’t the same, either). Mike also had a film crew. He also had a safety net, even if self-imposed. And while he cited his father’s health as the reason for ending the challenge early (which I respect), he failed to mention the mental health toll the experiment took on him as his story shifted.

Living without a fixed address isn’t some damned a startup challenge. It’s not a game, or a detox, or an experiment in bootstrapping.

It’s waking up to yourself and finding you’re thinner in spirit than the day before. That the thread holding you together has frayed a little more. That your body feels less like a home and more like a failed machine.

I miss dreaming. I miss waking up and knowing I had been somewhere.

Once, I got lucky — a miracle, really. I managed nearly four hours of sleep in the library. Either security gave me a break or they weren’t on duty that day. It felt like slipping into something sacred.

And I dreamed.

In the dream, I had a friend. Not just an acquaintance or a helper, but a real friend. Someone who knew me. Someone I laughed with. When I woke, I instantly remembered I was homeless — the weight of it landed like usual — but it didn’t crush me the same way. I had a strange warmth in my chest. I didn’t feel so alone.

Until I realized the friend lived in the dream.

And I was still here.

—Rhyan

Things Are Never Easy (Redux)

Lonnie Hatch was a cartographer of comfort, meticulously mapping the familiar coordinates of his life. Every morning, precisely at 7:18 AM, come fog thick as wool or sunshine that made the asphalt shimmer, he embarked on what his wife, Carol, called his “bagel pilgrimage.” The destination: Goldberg’s Deli, three blocks down, one block over. It wasn’t merely about the destination – the perfectly dense, chewy everything bagel, generously smeared edge-to-edge with their signature scallion cream cheese. It was the ritual itself. The rhythmic thump-thump of his worn sneakers on the sidewalk, the specific way Mrs. Henderson always waved from her window, the slightly-too-loud greeting from Sal behind the counter (“Lonnie! The usual? You got it!”). It was the comforting fug of malt, yeast, and roasting onions that hit you a half-block away, a promise of simple satisfaction.

Lonnie treasured these anchors in a world that often felt adrift. He was, by his own admission, a simple man. He found deep contentment in the steady rhythm of his days: his quiet work as an accountant, the shared laughter with Carol over dinner, the worn armchair where he read history books, and especially, his volunteer shifts ladling soup at St. Jude’s kitchen downtown. Helping felt less like a duty and more like breathing. His parents, pragmatic but kind souls, had woven service into the fabric of his upbringing – “Leave things a little better than you found them, son,” his father used to say. Lonnie lived a righteous life, not from fear of some celestial scorecard, but because kindness felt like the most logical, most human response to the world’s sharp edges. It simply felt right.

This particular Tuesday morning carried the crisp promise of early autumn. The air was cool against his face, carrying the scent of damp leaves and distant exhaust fumes. Lonnie walked with a familiar spring in his step, his thoughts pleasantly tangled around Carol’s upcoming birthday. A necklace? Too predictable. Those fancy gardening gloves she’d admired? Perhaps. He was so engrossed in weighing the merits of artisanal pruning shears versus a weekend getaway that he barely registered the frantic screech of tires tearing through the urban symphony.

He looked up, confused, just as a yellow taxi, moving far too fast, mounted the curb with a sickening lurch. It wasn’t aiming for him, but for the squat, red fire hydrant standing sentinel a few feet away. Time seemed to warp. He saw the driver’s wide, panicked eyes, the metallic shriek as bumper met iron, the impossible physics of the collision. The hydrant didn’t just break; it sheared off its base with explosive force, a sudden, brutal projectile launched directly into his path. Lonnie had only a fraction of a second to register the blur of red metal hurtling towards him, a final, absurd punctuation mark to his meticulously ordered life. Then, only blackness, absolute and instantaneous.

The newspapers would later describe it as a “one-in-a-million freak accident,” a tragic confluence of speed, distraction, and unfortunate positioning. A testament to the cruel randomness of urban life.

But randomness, Lonnie was about to learn, was a concept largely confined to the mortal plane. His death, far from being an anomaly, had been a scheduled event, noted centuries ago in the incomprehensibly vast ledger known colloquially as the Book of Life. A cosmic domino, nudged at the appointed hour.

There was no tunnel of light, no choir of angels, no St. Peter polishing the Pearly Gates. Instead, Lonnie experienced a profound sense of dislocation, like being pulled inside out and reassembled in the same instant. He found himself standing, disoriented but strangely intact, in a chamber of impossible scale. It was vast, utterly sterile, and bathed in a soft, sourceless light that cast no shadows. Around him, stretching further than his earthly eyes could comprehend, were others. Thousands upon thousands – a quick, bewildered estimate suggested maybe one hundred and fifty thousand souls – all freshly transitioned.

A low, pervasive hum filled the space, woven from the threads of countless emotions: the soft sobbing of bewildered grief, the sharp intake of shocked realization, the low murmur of confusion, the stony silence of utter disbelief. Some souls shimmered faintly, others looked as solid as they had moments before death. Lonnie instinctively touched his face, expecting to feel the catastrophic impact, but there was nothing. Only a strange, numb detachment. He looked for Carol, a desperate, automatic reflex, but saw only strangers adrift in the same sea of uncertainty.

Then, the ambient hum shifted, coalescing into a focused point of energy at the perceived center of the immense room. Light didn’t bend towards it; reality itself seemed to warp, allowing the presence to manifest. It was an Ophanim, one of the formidable Wheels within Wheels described in hushed tones in ancient texts. Not a winged humanoid, but a construct of impossible geometry – interlocking rings of what looked like burning gold, constantly rotating in different directions, the rim of each wheel studded with countless, unblinking eyes. These eyes, terrifyingly perceptive, swept across the assembled souls, seeing not just their bewildered forms, but the entirety of their lives, their choices, their deepest natures. Its presence wasn’t merely seen; it was felt – an overwhelming wave of ancient power, intricate purpose, and undeniable authority.

“Welcome, Heaven Seekers,” the Ophanim’s voice resonated, not through the air, but directly within each soul’s consciousness. The sound was like the grinding of galaxies, yet perfectly clear. “Some among you may have already grasped the transition you have undergone. For those who remain uncertain, allow me to confirm: the existence you knew, the life you inhabited on Earth, is concluded.”

A collective sigh, a wave of despair and dawning acceptance, rippled through the multitude. The Ophanim paused, its thousand-fold gaze seeming to acknowledge their grief without dwelling on it.

“Your anticipated entry into the Kingdom,” the celestial being continued, its voice devoid of emotion yet carrying immense weight, “has been temporarily deferred. An exigency has arisen. Heaven requires assistance.”

Another ripple, this time of pure confusion. Heaven needed… help?

“The terrestrial sphere, your Earth, has been significantly disrupted by the recent global pandemic. Its effects ripple beyond the merely physical, upsetting delicate spiritual balances cultivated over millennia. While this event does not herald the prophesied End Times, the scales measuring hope against despair, connection against isolation, have tipped unfavorably. The trajectory, if unaltered, leads toward escalating devastation – not necessarily apocalyptic, but a profound diminishment of the qualities Heaven seeks to foster.”

The Ophanim’s wheels spun, eyes blinking in asynchronous patterns. “Therefore, we are extending an invitation. We seek volunteers from this cohort – souls whose earthly lives demonstrated resilience, compassion, and a propensity for service – to return to Earth. You would be imbued with entirely new identities, new circumstances, severed completely from your past lives. Your mission: to subtly intervene, to act as counterweights, to assist in mitigating the coming discord and gently guiding humanity back towards equilibrium, or at least towards a new, more sustainable ‘normal’.”

The Ophanim let the proposition hang in the vast silence. “Consider this carefully. Your decision will not prejudice your ultimate acceptance into the Kingdom; entry is assured for all present based on your earthly merits. Declining this task carries no penalty. However,” the voice seemed to lower conspiratorially, though it still filled every mind, “choosing to volunteer confers certain… benefits upon your eventual, permanent arrival here. The nature of these benefits, I am not at liberty to disclose at this juncture.”

A current of speculation surged through the crowd. Whispers erupted in thought-forms Lonnie could now perceive. Benefits? What benefits? A higher sphere? Less waiting?

Lonnie felt a familiar ache, a phantom sensation in his chest. If this offer had come yesterday, when he was still Lonnie Hatch, bagel pilgrim, soup kitchen volunteer, Carol’s husband… the choice would have been instantaneous. Pack a bag, lace up the boots, get to work. That was his nature. But here, now? Standing on the very threshold of Paradise, the promise of eternal rest, of reunion, of peace beyond understanding, was an almost physical pull. It was the ultimate reward, the cessation of striving he hadn’t known he craved until this very moment. He felt weary, not just from his life, but from the shock of its ending.

Was this the real test? Not the good deeds on Earth, but this choice, right here, right now? A final, cosmic essay question determining his ultimate placement? Refuse, and enjoy the earned rest. Accept, and plunge back into the struggle, albeit in a new form.

He looked around at the sea of souls, each facing the same impossible choice. The weight of it settled upon him, heavy and profound. Things were never easy, it seemed. Not in life, and certainly not at the doorstep of eternity. The Ophanim waited, its myriad eyes patient, eternal, observing the quiet, monumental struggles unfolding within one hundred and fifty thousand souls.