I hate baths. Hate 'em more than Brussels sprouts, more than time-outs, maybe even more than whenever stupid ol' Tommy Perkins pulled my pigtails. But Mama says I gotta take 'em, so here I am, starin' at this big ol' tub full of bubbles that I swear would eat me alive if I let it.

The floor's all cold and slippery under my feet. I wiggle my toes and see the dirt come off in little smudges. Mama'd have a cow if she saw that. The bubbles in the tub look like fluffy clouds, or maybe the castles princesses live in. But I know better. It's all a trick to get me in there.

Suddenly, there's a big ol' KNOCKITY-KNOCK at the door. "Jadalyn Maeve Langford!" Uh-oh. Mama's sayin' my full name. That ain't never good. "I don't hear any splashing in there. What's the holdup?"

Quick as a wink, I stick my hand in the tub and splash it around. "I'm in, Mama! Splish-splashin' away!" I yell back, trying to sound all happy-like.

I hear Mama sigh real big. "No monkey business, you hear? Good girls take their baths without fussin'. Now get to it, or there'll be trouble."

I listen real hard as her slippers go shush-shush down the hall. She's muttering something, probably prayin' for patience again. Mama does that a lot with me around.

Now it's just me and the tub again. I take a deep breath, scrunch up my face real tight, and hop in quick as a jackrabbit. The water's warm, I'll give Mama that. She always gets it just right, even if I don't want to admit it.

I sit there, not really washin' but just kinda swishin' the water around, when I start noticin' stuff. The dirty water makes a ring around the tub, and it starts to look like somethin' else. Somethin'... spooky.
The bubbles ain't just bubbles no more. They're turnin' into monsters and weird faces, like the ones in that nightmare book Mama says I'm not s'posed to read before bed. And I hear whispers coming from the drain, like secrets nobody's s'posed to know.

The bathroom starts gettin' all foggy, and I can barely see. But then, two bright lights shine through the mist, and there's this weird sound, like when you blow over the top of a bottle. It's scary, but kinda excitin' too.

Tiny waves splash against the side of the tub, and I can see little boats getting knocked over. That's when it hits me, right between the eyes.

"Oh no!" I whisper-yell. "It's the Devil! He's comin' to get me 'cause I don't wanna take a bath!"

Well, I'm not gonna let some stinky ol' Devil get the best of me. Mama didn't raise no quitter! I grab my washcloth and start scrubbin' like my life depends on it. I pour a whole bunch of shampoo on my head, so much it runs down into my eyes, but I don't care. I'm makin' a special anti-Devil helmet!

Every time I dunk under the water, I know I'm fightin' off all the monsters and Devil-thingees. They don't stand a chance against Jadie-Mae Langford, the new best bath-taker in the whole wide world!

All of a sudden, the door flies open with a big BANG! I jump so high, I almost slip under the water. There's Mama, standin' there with her hands on her hips, looking ready to let me have it.

But before she can say anything, I stand up real proud and announce, "All done, Mama! Clean as a whistle!" I'm grinnin' so big, my cheeks hurt.

Mama's face changes, and she starts to smile too. "Well, I'll be," she says, wrappin' me up in the fluffiest towel ever. "Looks like somebody finally learned that cleanliness is next to godliness."

Steppin' out of the tub, I watch all the soap and bubbles swirl down the drain. And you know what? I bet all those monsters and Devil-thingees are going right down with 'em. 'Cause in this house, Jadie-Mae Langford always comes out on top—even on bath night!