A Healthy Dose of Realism About Writing

  1. Arrogant new aspiring writers usually don’t have decent stories
  2. Shy, unsure aspiring writers anxious to get feedback are more likely to have a decent story
  3. Aspiring writers unable to write decent descriptive prose haven’t found their voice yet
  4. Most new aspiring writer stories have no second act
  5. Most new aspiring writers are under the delusion their idea is more original than it is
  6. Many new aspiring writers, regardless of age, haven’t read the classics, especially within their preferred genre
  7. Because an aspiring writer is an avid reader does not mean they’re a good writer
  8. Fanboys don’t necessarily make good writers; they’re inspired but imitative
  9. Most new aspiring writers with novel manuscripts over 110,000 words don’t have a handle on their story
  10. Many new aspiring writers read too many how-to books and get totally confused
  11. New aspiring writers hate to kill their darlings and their pages are over-populated with them
  12. Experienced writers hate to kill their darlings but do it before asked
  13. First time aspiring writers usually tell biographical stories
  14. Gory, ultra-violent horror is most often written by young men under the age of 25
  15. Dull romantic dramas are most often written by women over the age of 45
  16. Unfunny romcoms are most often written by young men under the age of 25
  17. Action stories are almost always written by men of any age
  18. First time aspiring writers think their first novel is brilliant
  19. Experienced writers will never show you their first story – ever
  20. Experienced female writers write well in any genre
  21. Inexperienced female writers often write about love
  22. Good characters never have bad dialogue
  23. Structure is confusing for the first three stories – then something clicks
  24. Whether a writer is shy or charismatic has no bearing on the quality of writing
  25. No new writer is realistic about breaking into the business
  26. The location or gender of the writer has no bearing on the quality of the writing
  27. Age does not define an ability to come up with fresh ideas (most fresh ideas are in fact not fresh at all)
  28. Older writers most often write true or historical stories
  29. Young male writers often imitate their favorite authors
  30. Female writers are quite capable of writing great action but rarely do
  31. Divorcees often write about romance or revenge
  32. Most writers haven’t built up a good arsenal of stories; all their eggs are in one basket
  33. New writers think getting an agent is easy and will happen within a year or so
  34. Newly agented writers think their career will automatically take off in a huge way
  35. Experienced writers know they’ll go through many agents over time
  36. Newer writers don’t test their premises or write outlines properly
  37. Writers who regard themselves as writer-savants refuse to write what’s commercial – and may very well succeed after years of failure
  38. Writers who regard themselves as auteurs refuse to embrace that this is a sales job – and melt into a pool of bitter disillusionment and hate publishing houses thereafter
  39. Wealthy writers try to buy their way into the business using the most expensive software and consultants and gurus and melt into a bitter pool of outrage
  40. Writers with disposable incomes obsessively attend conferences more than they actually write
  41. Writers who’ve been disappointed over and over hate consultants or anything designed to help them succeed and nurse outraged, red-hot victim complexes
  42. First stories generally aren’t good
  43. Second stories generally aren’t good
  44. Third stories generally aren’t as bad as the first two
  45. Writers with successful other careers feel entitled to success in getting published
  46. A writer’s determination to keep trying is in direct proportion to their talent
  47. Entitlement is in inverse proportion to talent
  48. Talent is delightful and easy to spot from the first sentence
  49. A bad story is a bad story from the first sentence

There are, of course, exceptions to every rule and this list is merely an observation. You may agree with most, some or none of it at all. If you’re able to turn a Holmesian eye upon yourself and spot a few less than stellar things that relate to you on this list, that’s the first step in making a change for the better.

Sally forth and be writeful.

— Rhyan Scorpio-Rhys

  • Boastful, cock-sure writers usually don’t have very good scripts
  • Shy, unsure writers anxious to get notes are more likely to have a good script
  • Writers who can’t write good action lines have no “voice” yet
  • Most beginning writers have no second act
  • Most beginning writers think their idea is more original than it is
  • Many writers, regardless of age, have not seen the classics
  • Because a writer is a cinefile does not mean he or she is a good writer
  • Fanboys do not necessarily make good writers; they are inspired but imitative
  • Most writers with 133 page scripts do not have a handle on their story
  • Many writers read too many how-to books and get totally confused
  • Newer writers hate to kill their darlings and their pages are crowded with them
  • Experienced writers hate to kill their darlings but do it before asked
  • Clumsy, over-written action lines are the most accurate predictor of a bad script
  • First time writers usually tell biographical stories
  • Gory, ultra-violent horror is most often written by young men under the age of 25
  • Dull romantic dramas are most often written by women over the age of 45
  • Unfunny romcoms are most often written by young men under the age of 25
  • Action scripts are almost always written by men of any age
  • First time writers think their first script is brilliant
  • Experienced writers will never show you their first script – ever
  • Writers who use camera directions secretly want to direct
  • Experienced female writers write well in any genre
  • Inexperienced female writers often write about love
  • Good characters never have bad dialogue
  • Bad dialogue is never accompanied by good characters
  • Structure is confusing for the first three scripts – then something clicks
  • Writers who can’t articulate a quick logline have sprawling, confusing scripts
  • Whether a writers is shy or charismatic has no bearing on the quality of writing
  • Good writers never include pictures, maps or music with their script
  • No new writer is realistic about breaking in to the business
  • The location or gender of the writer has no bearing on the quality of the writing
  • Age does not define an ability to come up with fresh ideas
  • Most fresh ideas are in fact not fresh at all
  • It takes a long time to understand “the same but different”
  • Older writers most often write true or historical scripts
  • Young male writers often imitate their favorite movies
  • Female writers do not write American Pie or Harold and Kumar knock-offs
  • Female writers are quite capable of writing great action but rarely do
  • Divorcees often write about romance or revenge
  • Most writers have not built up a good arsenal of scripts; all eggs are in one basket
  • New writers think getting a rep is easy and will happen within a year or so
  • Newly repped writers think their career will automatically take off in a huge way
  • Experienced writers know they will go through many reps over time
  • Younger writers often do not think send thank you notes when they get a read
  • Older writers think Hollywood is more polite than it is
  • Newer writers do not test their premises or write outlines properly
  • Writers who regard themselves as writer-savants refuse to write what’s commercial – and may very well succeed after years of failure
  • Writers who regard themselves as auteurs refuse to embrace that this is a sales job – and melt into a pool of bitter disillusionment and hate Hollywood thereafter
  • Wealthy writers try to buy their way into the business using the most expensive software and consultants and melt into a bitter pool of outrage
  • Writers with disposable incomes obsessively attend conferences and pitch fests more than they actually write
  • Writers who cannot execute a script mechanically generally don’t have a good story
  • Writers who have been disappointed over and over hate consultants or anything designed to help them succeed and nurse outraged, red-hot victim complexes
  • First scripts suck
  • Second scripts suck
  • Third script suck a little less
  • Writers with successful other careers feel entitled to success in Hollywood
  • A writer’s determination to keep trying is in direct proportion to their talent
  • Entitlement is in inverse proportion to talent
  • Young writers think that Hollywood is only for the young
  • Older writers think that Hollywood is only for the young
  • Experienced writers know that Hollywood needs good stories and that a good story and being good in a room trumps age any day
  • Talent is delightful and easy to spot on page one
  • A bad script is a bad script from page one

– See more at: http://www.justeffing.com/tag/being-realistic-about-your-writing/#sthash.EAgP2PBB.dpuf

  • Boastful, cock-sure writers usually don’t have very good scripts
  • Shy, unsure writers anxious to get notes are more likely to have a good script
  • Writers who can’t write good action lines have no “voice” yet
  • Most beginning writers have no second act
  • Most beginning writers think their idea is more original than it is
  • Many writers, regardless of age, have not seen the classics
  • Because a writer is a cinefile does not mean he or she is a good writer
  • Fanboys do not necessarily make good writers; they are inspired but imitative
  • Most writers with 133 page scripts do not have a handle on their story
  • Many writers read too many how-to books and get totally confused
  • Newer writers hate to kill their darlings and their pages are crowded with them
  • Experienced writers hate to kill their darlings but do it before asked
  • Clumsy, over-written action lines are the most accurate predictor of a bad script
  • First time writers usually tell biographical stories
  • Gory, ultra-violent horror is most often written by young men under the age of 25
  • Dull romantic dramas are most often written by women over the age of 45
  • Unfunny romcoms are most often written by young men under the age of 25
  • Action scripts are almost always written by men of any age
  • First time writers think their first script is brilliant
  • Experienced writers will never show you their first script – ever
  • Writers who use camera directions secretly want to direct
  • Experienced female writers write well in any genre
  • Inexperienced female writers often write about love
  • Good characters never have bad dialogue
  • Bad dialogue is never accompanied by good characters
  • Structure is confusing for the first three scripts – then something clicks
  • Writers who can’t articulate a quick logline have sprawling, confusing scripts
  • Whether a writers is shy or charismatic has no bearing on the quality of writing
  • Good writers never include pictures, maps or music with their script
  • No new writer is realistic about breaking in to the business
  • The location or gender of the writer has no bearing on the quality of the writing
  • Age does not define an ability to come up with fresh ideas
  • Most fresh ideas are in fact not fresh at all
  • It takes a long time to understand “the same but different”
  • Older writers most often write true or historical scripts
  • Young male writers often imitate their favorite movies
  • Female writers do not write American Pie or Harold and Kumar knock-offs
  • Female writers are quite capable of writing great action but rarely do
  • Divorcees often write about romance or revenge
  • Most writers have not built up a good arsenal of scripts; all eggs are in one basket
  • New writers think getting a rep is easy and will happen within a year or so
  • Newly repped writers think their career will automatically take off in a huge way
  • Experienced writers know they will go through many reps over time
  • Younger writers often do not think send thank you notes when they get a read
  • Older writers think Hollywood is more polite than it is
  • Newer writers do not test their premises or write outlines properly
  • Writers who regard themselves as writer-savants refuse to write what’s commercial – and may very well succeed after years of failure
  • Writers who regard themselves as auteurs refuse to embrace that this is a sales job – and melt into a pool of bitter disillusionment and hate Hollywood thereafter
  • Wealthy writers try to buy their way into the business using the most expensive software and consultants and melt into a bitter pool of outrage
  • Writers with disposable incomes obsessively attend conferences and pitch fests more than they actually write
  • Writers who cannot execute a script mechanically generally don’t have a good story
  • Writers who have been disappointed over and over hate consultants or anything designed to help them succeed and nurse outraged, red-hot victim complexes
  • First scripts suck
  • Second scripts suck
  • Third script suck a little less
  • Writers with successful other careers feel entitled to success in Hollywood
  • A writer’s determination to keep trying is in direct proportion to their talent
  • Entitlement is in inverse proportion to talent
  • Young writers think that Hollywood is only for the young
  • Older writers think that Hollywood is only for the young
  • Experienced writers know that Hollywood needs good stories and that a good story and being good in a room trumps age any day
  • Talent is delightful and easy to spot on page one
  • A bad script is a bad script from page one

– See more at: http://www.justeffing.com/tag/being-realistic-about-your-writing/#sthash.EAgP2PBB.dpuf

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9 responses to “A Healthy Dose of Realism About Writing

  1. I like this. I think I am a average guy, who lives a average life, and does average things. Therefore when I see what the average person does in their writing, it gives me some knowledge of how to be better than average.

    I love your site, you always have something that teaches me. You are the best!

    Like

  2. 50. New writers usually get fleeced by gurus who charge an arm and a leg for “guaranteed success” seminars.

    Great list! Thanks for posting!

    Like

  3. 50. Sometimes writers forget about punctuation
    51. In lieu of CREATIVITY
    52. They believe they are above the laws that govern our grammatical universe
    53. Full stop

    Like

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