
The phrase was stitched into a sampler that had hung in the hallway of every house my family owned for as far back as anyone bothered tracing. The linen had yellowed, the thread had gone brown, and the words formed a careful oval around an empty center. There were no flowers or houses or little moral scenes of domestic virtue, only the sentence circling itself. My mother called it an old blessing about living well enough that eternity would have no complaint with you, which satisfied me until the sampler became mine.
After her death I hung it in my hallway and noticed that the words possessed no obvious beginning. There was no capital letter, no punctuation, nothing that established where the instruction should start or finish. Following the stitching eventually returned the eye to the same word, and reading from there produced another complete circuit. I stood before it far longer than I intended, tracing the sentence until the shape of it seemed to continue somewhere behind my thoughts.
Repetition entered my days gradually. I would walk into the kitchen, forget why, return to the living room, and perform the same sequence again with identical movements. Pages of books repeated themselves although the page numbers advanced. Twice I received the same telephone call several days apart, complete with the same cough from the caller and a truck passing outside at precisely the same moment.
My daughter noticed before I admitted anything was wrong. She asked why I sometimes greeted her twice in the morning and why, on certain evenings, I seemed surprised to find dinner already eaten. I began marking events on a calendar. Soon several dates contained two sets of notes in my handwriting, describing the same day with tiny variations.
I considered destroying the sampler until I found photographs of older family homes. In every hallway it hangs in the same position. In one picture my grandmother stands beside it as a young woman. Another, supposedly taken thirty years later, shows her in different clothing but with exactly the same expression, one hand raised toward the same stitch.
The sampler remains on my wall. Taking it down now feels strangely premature, because I am beginning to remember mornings that have yet to occur. Eternity, I think, may be less concerned with endless duration than with perfect recurrence, and my family has spent generations practicing one small domestic version of it until the pattern learned how to continue us.
©2013 Rhyan Scorpio-Rhys
