Available: One writer. Slightly used. Warranty still good. Greying but no significant exterior dings, scratches, dents, or cracks. Mercurial movie lover and unabashed nerd (genuine, not a faux Lisa Loeb glasses-wearing cool-because-it’s-trendy poseur) with science fiction and creature feature tendencies. Proficient in DaVinci Resolve, Final Draft, and Affinity Photo. Comes equipped with a subversive and wicked sense of humor. Able to subsist solely on NutriBullet smoothies, grilled chicken, rice and beans, and ginger tea. Will perform stupid human tricks for bacon double cheeseburgers and Guinness. Optional accessories include three rotating personalities (one of whom is rumored–but not yet confirmed–to have defeated a Dalek in hand-to-hand combat and thereby is in line to become the Fourteenth Doctor). If writers are your thing, you’ll like the cut of this one’s jib.
MADD FICTIONAL 
*gasp* those Daleks are hard to beat!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Boy, don’t I know it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are speaking my language. Cheers to you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
aww. loved it!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you kindly!
LikeLike
You had me at bacon double cheeseburgers and Guinness 😀
LikeLiked by 3 people
That makes us kindred spirits.
LikeLike
😆
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad you’re eating healthier now. I’m not sure about the tricks though. I think Vintage Writer would’ve been a more suitable title. Now don’t smirk and roll your eyes. A few sarcastic punches will do. Good one. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hit me with your best shot, Veenie-bean. I’ve been rolling with the punches all my life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hired! Throw in the accessories too. 😉 I enjoyed this very much. And I really want a burger now…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Cheers, Kirsten. The difference between us is that I ALWAYS want a burger.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You had me at the Lisa Loeb comment, sold me on the Dalek cred. Hired.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Cheers, Tom!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Always curious about my dreams and where bits of information come from. I had a dream with one of The Doctors in it. I think that bit filtered in from the Dr. Who pieces in here, lol.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lucky man. I never had Doctor Who, or any other sci-fi references pop up in any of the dreams I remember. I was Green Lantern in one, though, and got eaten by a giant meatball in another, but that was when I was much younger.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂 that’s awesome. Did you not like meatballs as a kid or what?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Are you kidding? I loved eating meatballs…almost as much as they loved eating me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
Just what I needed after editing!
Sending you Safe Air Hugs, if you’d like them, Sir,
Shira
LikeLiked by 1 person
Air hugs are social distance safe and greatly appreciated, Shira! Cheers!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent!
Sending you more, and then off to bed!
Cheers!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re so weird. (and I suspect, if you are anything like me, that is a compliment.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Weirder than you know, kiddo. I be thanking ye kindly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Loved this, gave me a good chuckle this morning 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Then that’s my morning made.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Scary thought – a hundred years ago, when they were relevant, Lisa and Dweezil and were on my artist relations list. There’s an old saying about scholarship and depth trumping fads and trendspeak. I say that because Herbie Hancock was on that list as well. Yin and yang. I’m meeting a friend for lunch. Bacon cheeseburgers and Negra Modelo. Guinness has to be later in the day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Later in the day? Sir, I pour Guinness on my corn flakes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That explains a LOT!🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
Boy does it ever.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Loved that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for the read and comment!
LikeLike
*Crying laughing emoji* Have you found any takers since you posted your ad?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not a single, solitary soul. Who wants an old nag only good for glue when there are so many young literary thoroughbreds prancing about? Cheers for the read and comment!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, those young thoroghbreds lack the wisdom and jadedness of an old timer. At least the old nag is useful when two pieces of machinery need reattaching.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Leanne, guess who just became President of this old nag’s fan club? Currently, the membership consists solely of you, but we’ll work on increasing the count. Congratulations! Take a bow!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sure, I’ll be President of Old Nag’s Fan Club. Since we’re working with a skeleton crew, instead of going through an elaborate election, I appoint you to be the VP of Marketing. Your first task is to create a blog and social media accounts to gain a following.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Um, I’m afraid I don’t know anything about those newfangled social media accounts, all those Tickety-Toks, Snappy-Chats, and Tweetymabobs. Are they anything like a rexograph fan ‘zine? Because I am absolutely ace at that! Or if that isn’t in line with your vision, we could always go with the telegraph or smoke signals. I’m a little rusty at both but I believe I could pull either off in a pinch. Let me know.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Let’s start with the smoke signal. It still reaches a lot of people. I expect a report at the end of the week.
LikeLiked by 1 person
One report via Pony Express coming up!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now you’ve got me thinking “Must…have…cheeseburgers…” in a James T. Kirk voice… 😀 Seriously, anything with cheeseburgers, count me in (especially if they have lots of jalapenos on ’em). Your gilded wit is effortless, good sir. This really brightened up my night. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Guinness, bacon double cheeseburgers, and pizza are my weaknesses and they’re on the forbidden food list and are going to put me in an early grave because although I do not indulge as much anymore, I cannot stay away completely. As a carnivore, there are only so many damned salads you can eat before you go mental. Cheers for the kind words!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Final draft and wicked sense of humor… a winning combo!
LikeLiked by 1 person
From your mouth to a prospective employer’s ear. Cheers for the read and comment!
LikeLiked by 1 person