13 for Halloween: Sebaceous Splendors (audio)

Posted by Madd_Fictional on

I run a shoppe on the High Street, a tiny place that has a terrible word of mouth reputation, primarily for the produce I sell.

In my shop, Sebaceous Splendors, you can find the finest cuts of skin, the purest jars of blood, and the cleanest bones on the continent. Looking for a body part? Come to Sebaceous. Need a fresh organ to grind? Sebaceous has you covered. And where do you go when your sinew and tendons run low? You guessed it: Sebaceous.

In the cold light of day, townsfolk would not be caught dead entering my establishment, which is why I switched to night hours.

Under the cloak of twilight, as the rest of the village sleeps, slippered feet shuffle across cobblestones and slink into my shoppe. The shadowed alleyways surrounding my business are choked with clientele awaiting their turn to dash in and purchase a bit of the abnormal, either for spells and enchantment or to satisfy an unnatural appetite. I cast no aspersions. I sell what I sell. What you do with it is your own affair.

Not all who visit are right-minded, as one might surmise. Some syphilitic fingersmiths seek to cheat me of my efforts by attempting to nick a spleen or appendix and make a mad dash for it, which is why I purchased a NeverEver dog, so named because if one ever sank its five rows of teeth into you, you would never commit that or any crime ever again.

So, the next time you have a craving for something that cannot be procured at your local mart or need to bind someone to you, heart and soul, for all eternity, consider dropping by Sebaceous Splendors, open Midnight to Dawn, with nightly Hour of the Wolf specials!

19 responses to “13 for Halloween: Sebaceous Splendors (audio)”

  2. Not a cannibal, not a cannibal, not a cannibal……..I want that on the record! But if I walked by the shop, I’d have to stick my head in for a peek to satisfy my curiosity.

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  4. Now who could turn away from such Sebaceous Splendor? I didn’t know you were so good at marketing and advertising, Rhyan. Makes me want to revoke my vegetarian status and dig into a nice piece of meaty flesh. And pure blood would be a great substitute for boring, white milk. Lets add some vivacious color. You have been coaxing your readers towards these meaty pleasures. I see a sudden lifestyle change… 🙂

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    • I would never dream of diverting you from your vegetarian path, Queen ‘Veen. Having said that, should you ever wish to take a succulent culinary walk on the forbidden flesh side, it would be my absolute honor to serve as your tour guide.

      And for the record, my knowledge in the field of humanae ediblis is strictly academic, and though many have tried, no one can prove anything to the contrary.

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