Tiny Stories: Special Delivery

Popular belief has it that the universe is comprised of atoms. In reality, the universe is actually made up of…

The newspaper ad read:

GET YOUR BIOLOGICAL NEWBORN BY CORRESPONDENCE

Want a baby but also want to keep your firm body? Now you can reap the benefits of motherhood without the need for pregnancy or leaving the safety of your home! Want to select the gender? No problem! Want twins or triplets? No problem! Want to splice helpful traits from the animal kingdom to progress human evolution and secure our place in the pecking order? No problem!

Each transaction comes complete with DNA confirmation and sonogram photos to show off to your friends and neighbors! So, what are you waiting for? Get your swab kit today! 100% money-back guarantee if not completely satisfied!

Order now and get a second baby ABSOLUTELY FREE (just pay additional shipping and handling). Operators are standing by!

13 responses to “Tiny Stories: Special Delivery

    • Who says it’s not that easy? They seem like they’ve got all their ducks in a row and they offer a money-back guarantee so I can’t see the harm in putting them to the test. Plus, I think you even get to keep the FREE baby if you’re dissatisfied.

      Liked by 1 person

    • I can’t speak for the company (for legal reasons I deny any affiliation with the organization) but I assume you will be provided a postage paid return container addressed to either Angelina Jolie, Madonna, Katherine Heigl or any of the other celebrities who adopt overseas children, who will be glad to take the baby off your hands.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I’d say I’ll give you the one I have and won’t even expect anything in return.
    LOL!
    And it’s full grown. Can it get any easier?
    And I’ll throw in a warning manual so that there are no unpleasant surprises.
    Rhyan, I didn’t know you wrote horror so well. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Too late, your kid beat you to the punch and called in to return you.

      She said she’s tired of trying to draw blood from a stone, whatever that means.

      Pack a bag with your essentials because the container is on its way as we speak.

      Liked by 2 people

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