Pregnancy by Mail

The newspaper ad read:

GET YOUR BIOLOGICAL NEWBORN BY CORRESPONDENCE

Want a baby but also want to keep your firm body? Now you can reap the benefits of motherhood without the need for pregnancy or leaving the safety of your home! Want to select the gender? No problem! Want twins or triplets? No problem! Want to splice helpful traits from the animal kingdom to progress human evolution and secure our place in the pecking order? No problem!

Each transaction comes complete with DNA confirmation and sonogram photos to show off to your friends and neighbors! So, what are you waiting for? Get your swab kit today! 100% money-back guarantee if not completely satisfied!

Order now and get a second baby ABSOLUTELY FREE (just pay additional shipping and handling). Operators are standing by!