Rise of the Fallen 722nd

Usually, I don’t actively participate in writing prompts. Not that I have a snobbish attitude towards them, anything that gets the creative juices flowing and entices you to write is okay in my book, I’ve simply never encountered a suggested prompt sentence, paragraph or picture that inspired me. Until I stumbled upon the Noriyoshi Orai gem shown above.

Blindsided by an idea, I began scribbling notes of a futuristic war set in the past with the intention of re-imaging it as a zugzwang story using a fairy tale twist. Why a fairy tale? Because the old ones are replete with heavy messages, drenched in misfortunes of the world, and yet faith, perseverance, and sometimes sheer luck, can turn the tide in overcoming life’s trials. I wanted to present it as an old story, told in archaic language, laced with a subtle message still relevant to the modern world.

If you ever want to hear your muse laugh, tell her your lofty goals for a story before you’ve written it.

“Rise of the Fallen 722nd” began life as a story examining patriotism, loyalty, and the enduring human spirit in the face of the ultimate no-win scenario. The outline wasn’t difficult to put on paper. The story itself? That’s a different matter altogether. It went through the draft mill four times, each revision drastically different from the one before. Only one patch of dialogue survived from the original piece.

Futuristic war? Check. Set in the past? Check. Zugzwang? Double check. Fairy tale twist? Not so much. The fairy tale elements weakened the integrity of the overall structure and sadly had to be put down like Old Yeller. Still, it was fun to write.

It just left home today to knock on editor doors in search of its new home, so fingers crossed.

Sally forth and be writeful.

©2013 Rhyan Scorpio-Rhys

Creative Commons License

10 responses to “Rise of the Fallen 722nd

  1. Good luck. And GREAT picture you found. Kind of in love with it, actually. Oh, yeah, back to the writing, certainly intrigued by the story you created! Good title too. Opening line, we want opening line!!!


    • Thank you and thank you, as always. And since you asked so nicely, the opening line is:

      “They invented a magnificent death for us, the enemy did, dishing it out with an unhurried grace as they pushed back our line in the battlefield and through time.”


      • Wooo-hooo! I can see it’s going to be a light read! 😛 But seriously, good luck, my curiosity is piqued! Excellent opener! Can’t wait to see it in print.


      • Cheers for that! Knock wood the story finds an editor with your excellent taste in fiction (or your kind ability to lie to spare a writer’s feelings)!

        By the way for all you lurking looky-loos who read these comments, Lani has an absolutely amazing site filled with an eclectic mix of Thai-related topics, presented in her unique brand of humor. Do yourselves a favor and check it out.


  2. Pingback: Top Ten 2013 Mundanities I Didn’t Mind Being Mired In | Mired In Mundanity

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